Bizarre Mathematical Crimes
(for Paul Rogers)
“You’ll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs,
Or engaged in doing complicated long division sums.”
Crimes against algebra? Professors sneered.
Crimes against calculus? They said: “No way!”
But Mr. Rogers, just as students feared,
Has done it – and he’s doing it today.
The League of Super Math Brains in dismay
Retreats before his genius, fierce and wild.
And Mr. Rogers laughs at the display
Of math that he’s established: math defiled!
Next to him, Archimedes was a child.
Next to him, Einstein was the slave of rules.
As he surveys the blackboard, Joker-smiled,
He shakes the desks in all the little schools.
His plan is stark and subtle, dark and deep.
He’ll make the world of mathematics weep.