(for Bailey Sciambra)
You had a moment, girl, with Johnny Depp?
The word is that you got his autograph.
In a girl’s life, that is a vital step.
I pay my homage here. I do not laugh.
The loving Lord: He guides you with His staff
Into green pastures where good-looking guys
Are waiting. Other girls may be the chaff—
But you’re the wheat, and great stars recognize
The difference. Not a single one denies
The autograph you eagerly request.
Their consent swells to hypertrophic size
Because they realize that you’re the best.
By saying yes, they boost their fandom scores.
You got Depp’s autograph. Did he get yours?