Literary Inspiration
“When he is drunk asleep, or in his rage,
Or in the incestuous pleasure of his bed;
At gaming, swearing, or about some act
That has no relish of salvation in’t;
Then trip him, that his heels may kick at heaven,
And that his soul may be as damn’d and black
As Hell, whereto it goes.”
Hamlet wanted to send straight to Hell
His vile uncle – and, under the spell
Of that limitless play,
I am hoping someday
To push you down the same fiery well.
–Tom Riley
Never Fooled
He manages to pass for smart—
But I for one was never fooled:
He tripped on science, fumbled art.
He manages to pass for smart—
But still his horses push the cart,
And still his urges go unruled.
He manages to pass for smart—
But I for one was never fooled.
–Tom Riley
Contraction
While vaster-minded poets shape grand plans,
I plan instead to polish a refrain.
Oh, what a noble vision can be man’s!
While vaster-minded poets shape grand plans,
Contraction is what modestly expands
In my bone-bounded, unambitious brain.
While vaster-minded poets shape grand plans,
I plan instead to polish a refrain.
–Tom Riley
Group Prayer
When you pray as a part of the crowd,
Why, then, God hears your prayers really loud—
And most kindly will score them.
He will never ignore them.
Of his answer the crowd can be proud.
–Tom Riley
See the Good
The economy may be a wreck.
Regulators may stand on your neck.
But how bad can things be?
Hey, the birth control’s free!
So let’s all write Barack a blank check!
–Tom Riley
State of the Union
You can’t govern yourselves, as you know:
Your democracy’s simply a show.
It’s a fact you can’t fight.
Plus, you’re lucky: tonight
The chief tyrant is telling you so.
–Tom Riley
Judgment Juice
(for Téa Marie Erickson)
The lousy movie that you plan to view
Is way too bad to yield to simple wine.
You need far stronger stuff to render you
Immune to crap and bitch-slap into line
Your judgment – so you babble, “Hey, it’sh fine,”
When sober viewers rally and object.
Vodka, perhaps, might manage that design—
But I, my dear, am of the whiskey sect.
Jameson is sufficient to correct
All of the sense that you can bring to bear
Against The Hobbit’s defects. You’ll defect
From rationality and cease to care
About the idiocy in that flick.
Drink fiercely and the film won’t make you sick.
–Tom Riley
Republicrats
What one party can do unto thee,
O thou citizen, should scare the pee
Out of bladders like thine.
Therefore, dread the design
Of the two parties when they agree!
–Tom Riley
Damn Hero
From his low place, he couldn’t see high.
Still, he stretched up: “I do need to try!”
The truth hid overhead.
Aspiration was dead.
Why? Our damn hero gave up, that’s why!
–Tom Riley
The Ouster
He was too aloof, lofty, and proud.
He would not go along with the crowd
As our leaders required—
So he had to be fired
For the crime of not lying out loud.
–Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 