Unfair

by flammeusgladius

Unfair

 

 

(Secundum Epigramma Latinum Thomae Mori)

 

 

I heard you showed your torso at the Fair
When there were children there: that’s child abuse!
The only way to cause a graver scare
Would be to flash your oversized caboose.
Still, your great sissy boobies hanging loose,
The rolls of flab upon your abdomen,
The oiliness, as of a new-plucked goose—
These were a grievous and offensive sin.
The endless calories you’d taken in
You turned upon the young and innocent.
You made eyes play a game they couldn’t win.
Of mercy you showed not the slightest hint.
Why did they need a gander at your gut?
They’d all already seen Jabba the Hut.

 

 

–Tom Riley