Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Month: July, 2014

Change Is Good

Change Is Good

 

 

Out from your store of wisdom, you produce

a lovely sermon on how change is good.

But with the facts you’re playing fast and loose

to shield things in your backside’s neighborhood.

Acknowledge now, O liar, as you should

that every instance here of alteration

is a sign that your head is made of wood

and that you’ve botched a simple calculation!

Acknowledge that your faux-sage peroration

is just crap — and irrelevant to boot!

The more that you rely on vain quotation,

the less you can convince us you’re astute.

You’re what you need to alter:  just get out!

That’ll be an improvement safe from doubt.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Demonax

Demonax

 

 

Demonax was the sage of pointed jokes.

Serious mumblers didn’t like him much.

The finest lecture ultimately chokes

if it goes long enough — or, out of touch,

stumbles into a ditch.  Was it a crutch,

the wit Demonax focused on the fools

of wisdom?  No doubt boneheads called it such.

A pleasure, then, to break their solemn rules!

Of course he never chose amongst the schools.

Of course he never joined the mysteries.

And, when they came, those haughty Roman ghouls,

and sought to peddle their atrocities,

he said, “Abandon Pity!”  It was good

that he foresaw his countrymen all would.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

Future

The Future

 

 

Things are different.  Do you like them so?

You expected the change to be slow–

But instead it was fast.

Its effects have been vast.

It’s already the future, you know.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Butt of My Jokes

The Butt of My Jokes

 

 

Did my latest rhyme give you a clue,

You unhelpful, unsightly old shoe?

Did you read it and say,

“Could be me?”  Anyway,

You should now cease to wonder.  It’s you.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Legs

Legs

 

 

She shows her legs and thinks that you are lusting.

Can anything on earth be more disgusting?

 

 

–Tom Riley

Beyond Pretending

Beyond Pretending

 

 

I have watched you – and seen the despair

In your eyes.  Play the man if you dare—

But your courage is shammed.

There is no doubt you’re damned.

I for one won’t pretend that I care.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Keep a Secret

Keep a Secret

 

 

Courage!  Courage, my lad!  There is hope

That you’ll finally manage to cope

With the challenges dire

That you face.  Lad, aspire!

(Don’t reveal, though, that you are a dope!)

 

 

–Tom Riley

What’s Important

What’s Important

 

 

A plane shot down.  Obama, though, remains

Focused on what’s important to the nation

And to the world.  He’s fixed his brilliant brains

On raising funds for Democrats whose station

Is just a little shaky.  Brief oration—

Well, maybe forty seconds – on the grave

Tragedy.  Must steer clear of indignation.

Now on to stand-up comedy.  Great save!

To unforeseen events he doesn’t cave.

He must remake America – and shall.

If Dutchmen end up slaughtered, he won’t rave

As Ronald Reagan might have.  Be a pal:

Acknowledge that our leader’s voice rings loud—

A shout-out to the Bidens in the crowd.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Issue

The Issue

 

 

If a meteor plummets from space

And presents an impossible case

For authorities here

To resolve and make clear,

Just remember:  the issue is race!

 

 

–Tom Riley

Guilty as Charged

Guilty as Charged

 

 

What?  You’re mouthing lame do-gooder stuff?

You’ve attempted, heart zealous and tough,

To make this, our world, better?

Well, you’re charged to the letter:

You’ve implied that it’s not good enough!

 

 

–Tom Riley