You too can have a body like Michelle.
You too can tote a great big useless ass
around and dwell in self-deceptive hell
about your perfect diet. Oh, alas,
if your routine is of the proper class,
and if your dignity has been surrendered,
you can pass for a mound of bio-mass
dreaded by kids and probably transgendered!
To you this offer has been kindly tendered
by the First Lady, who pretends to be
a goddess glorious and many-splendored,
not a mere figure of hilarity.
No kidding: this can all belong to you.
Why in the world, though, would you want it to?