Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Month: January, 2016

Choose the Dragon

Choose the Dragon

 

 

“The infant child is not aware
it has been eaten by the bear.”

 

 

–Housman

 

 

I chose the dragon, mister, not the bear.
The mythological is predatory
beyond the dreams of nature. In an air
than no one breathes, the flying serpent’s story
unfolds in all its wild, fictitious glory.
In many lesser versions, there’s a knight.
I myself do not like that category.
The story’s end should never be in sight.
The fiery worm should never see the light.
At any rate, the tale I’ve opted for
doesn’t include an all-redemptive fight
where advocates of good are keeping score.
A dragon ought to stay in fine repair,
as innocent and deadly as the bear.

 

 

–Tom Riley

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Disclaimer

Disclaimer

 

 

 
We don’t sell baby parts! That attack
is absurd! Black is white, white is black,
facts are vague as a sigh,
and your truth is a lie!
(For our prices, please check on the back….)

 

 

–Tom Riley

Backlash

Backlash

 

 

 
When the videos played, how we reeled!
They made clear what for years we’d concealed–
and the country got sick.
Stupid truth-obsessed prick!
We’ll destroy him for what he revealed….

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Grand jury investigating Planned Parenthood indicts whistleblower instead.)

Salary Man

Salary Man

 

 

The salary he takes for doing squat
will ruin everything: that’s why he smiles.
Is he worth what they pay him? He is not.
The salary he takes for doing squat
is poured into a vacuum. They will rot
before he pays them back. Arrayed in piles,
the salary he takes for doing squat
will ruin everything. That’s why he smiles.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Ain’t Gonna Strip

Ain’t Gonna Strip

 

 

To get your vote she’d show a little skin.
But such a show could only nauseate.
Here come the words. Don’t let the picture in.
To get your vote she’d show a little skin.
The image, though, is certainly a sin.
Plus, it’s a pathogen to contemplate.
To get your vote, she’d show a little skin–
but such a show could only nauseate.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Sure Things

Sure Things

 

 

He’s sure that he is going straight to Heaven.
I’m sure that he will be the Patron Saint
of Assholes. Is God’s number really seven?
I’ve dialed it often. Answering he ain’t.
Our hero, though, just sneers at such complaint.
He dials God’s number not to ask a thing
but only to instruct without restraint.
The counselor is needed by the King.
Our hero names a hymn — and angels sing.
Our hero calls for rain — and does it pour!
When he demands salvation from the sting
of his mortality, can God ignore?
Nay! Folks, have faith and thus negate all doubt.
(Our hero’s telling God to keep me out.)

 

 

–Tom Riley

Plagiarism

Plagiarism

 

 
Lowly students screw up — and get fried.
Their offensiveness can’t be denied,
and they’re flunked with a zeal
that we’re all proud to feel.
But to teachers such rules aren’t applied.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Really Smart

Really Smart

 

 

Why does Obama think he’s really smart?
Only because he’s smarter than Michelle.
Friends, self-deception is a tricky art.
Why does Obama think he’s really smart–
when every thought he thinks is just a fart
out of some half-assed, mediocre hell?
Why does Obama think he’s really smart?
Only because he’s smarter than Michelle.

 

 

–Tom Riley

On Facebook

On Facebook

 

 
Yes, on Facebook — vile habit! — he went.
What a prelude to vast discontent!
There, where all the names are,
everybody’s a star,
every belch an earth-shaking event.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Memory Marvel

Memory Marvel

 

 

Do his duty? Alas, he did not!
Thrill the spectators? Well, not a lot.
To be blunt, if not rude,
the pooch ended up screwed.
And his only excuse? “I forgot.”

 

 

–Tom Riley