Guys, have you heard the latest thrilling news?
Madonna wants to give a little treat
To those who back her Clinton-licking views
And vote accordingly. She will complete
A whole Lewinsky, serious and sweet,
On any lad who hastens into line.
With tonsils well-conditioned she will greet
All qualifying organs. No, not mine:
That kind of thing is not in God’s design
For stubborn, stodgy voters such as me.
My politics I shall not redefine—
Nor is that place a place I want to be.
Still, she may suck you off, the fucking whore.
(Now we know what Paul Ryan’s angling for.)