“Capillum leviter inflexum et subflavum.”
–Suetonius, Divus Augustus, 79.
Caesar Augustus was, indeed, a blond.
Suetonius communicates this fact
To those of us who of the truth are fond.
Others with ignorance have made a pact.
Denial is their ethic and their act,
And all that they can ever really do
Is show they lack what they have always lacked:
A willingness to nod toward what is true.
Hating clues, they can never get a clue.
Dreading proof, they’re forever doomed to flee.
Sneers and quips are the hallmarks of that crew.
Reality is what they will not see.
To you and me, however, hard fact rocks.
Hail, Caesar, and we praise your golden locks!
(Perhaps foolishly, I got involved in a tangential controversy, over at “The American Conservative,” concerning the predominant complexions in the Greco-Roman world. Someone named Siarlys Jenkins was arguing for the indefensible proposition that the Ancient Romans looked like Denzel Washington. I first pointed out, and then proved with documentary evidence, that Caesar Augustus was blond. And I like to rub it in when I prove something….)