Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Month: December, 2016

Fake News Cycle

Fake News Cycle

 

 

We’re reliable, folks – so relax.
Please don’t give us the audience axe!
We report what we know.
If you hear it ain’t so,
You’re the victims, we say, of false facts.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Advertisements

Faking It

Faking It

 

 

Sir: your fake news is crushing Creation.
You are causing unjust consternation
With your unfounded views.
We despise your fake news!
Now prepare for our fake refutation!

 

 

–Tom Riley

Veniunt Russiani

Veniunt Russiani

 

 
“Russians stole the election!” they cry.
Rules of evidence do not apply.
Jealous mainstream reporters
Are now testing the borders.
Have they mastered fake news? Well, they try.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver

 

 

How she wishes she’d had an abortion!
Ain’t no tragic necessity, folks.
That is sad, patriarchal distortion.
In reality, girls should crack jokes
About feticide, taking sly pokes
At the tissues that they have destroyed.
On the opposite viewpoint she chokes,
Our wise heroine, more than annoyed
By the right wing. She would have enjoyed
Her abortion. She knows that it’s so.
What a thrill to see edges employed
Against every unloved embryo!
By another dream, this one was shaped:
In her book, the bitch wished she’d been raped.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Russophobes

Russophobes

 

 

No, the Democrat lie won’t yield place
To the truth that presents a calm face.
Democrats weep and shout.
(John McCain’s helping out.)
Russophobia’s just a disgrace.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Substitute Teacher

Substitute Teacher

 

 

Hey, your substitute, ma’am, was a peach!
Though she droned, she did not opt to screech.
She was aging – no lie!—
But her headlights were high.
Much like you, she saw no need to teach.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Profitable Prophet

Profitable Prophet

 

 

How much were
You paid to write your
jeremiad against greed?

 

 

–Tom Riley

A Very Putin Christmas

A Very Putin Christmas

 

 

The Russians hacked my Christmas tree!
Now all the lights are blinking red,
And Putin’s cackling wickedly.
The Russians hacked my Christmas tree!
They really have it in for me.
I writhe in Hillary’s hard stead.
The Russians hacked my Christmas tree!
Now all the lights are blinking red.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Arctic Rivalries

Arctic Rivalries

 

 

Reindeer team is encountering woes—
For they face unforeseen blinding snows.
No, the challenge ain’t new,
But their options are few:
The damn Russians have hacked Rudolph’s nose!

 

 

–Tom Riley

Plan to Capture Santa Claus

The Plan to Capture Santa Claus

 

 

His plan to capture Santa Claus was stark
In its unparalleled simplicity.
Next to his own house grew a lofty tree
Whose boughs could bear him up. There, in the dark,
He would wait, sniper rifle at the ready,
For the arrival of the laden sleigh.
Take the lead reindeer out – and they’d all stay,
The visitants of Christmas Eve, unsteady.
He should have guessed, of course, that Santa had
A thorough network of insightful spies.
He should have seen the scorn in merry eyes.
Too late! Too late! Words simple, stark, and sad.
Off then to Santa’s gulag, ill-intentioned.
Funny. The Infant Christ was never mentioned.

 

 

–Tom Riley