Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Month: January, 2017

Bad Craziness

Bad Craziness

 

 

“Hey, guys: jump on the refugee train!

Come on in!  Rape our women!  In vain

Do the natives protest!

Being open is best!”

“Let’s just pause….” “Donald Trump: you’re insane!”

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Left protests Trump’s refugee policy.)

 

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Too Far

Too Far

 

 

Now this time, people, Trump has gone too far—
Far worse than the too far he went before!
We never guessed that he had this in store.
He hit hard when we only meant to spar.
Having wished on a more progressive star,
We were assured that time would wage our war
For us. But Donald Trump’s outrageous score
Keeps rising – and it’s outraged that we are!
This time, we’re sure, he’s done his own ass in.
His bonfire will be soon just one weak ember.
His Twitter tricks, we’re sure, are growing thin.
His rhetoric we’re moving to dismember.
He can’t recover from this latest sin.
We’ll crush him like a bug – as in November.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Comical

Comical

 

 

Says Spinola, a comic, “It’s good
To mock ten-year-old kids. Comics should!
Don’t you prudes dare say nix!
I make fun of kids’ pricks!”
He’d molest little boys if he could.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Comic Stephen Spinola attacks Barron Trump.)

Autocrat of the Supper Table

The Autocrat of the Supper Table

 

 

He blabs on, though he makes little sense.
His delight in his voice is intense
As it fills the whole room,
Same old stench in the tomb.
He’s the master of current events.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Cries of Protest

Cries of Protest

 

 

In the Valley of Silicon, wise
High-tech leaders protest with sharp cries
Trump’s vile immigrant bans.
He has fucked up their plans
To take work from our own I.T. guys!

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Silicon Valley leaders object to Trump’s immigration bans.)

Unseen

Unseen

 

 

Hamlet’s mother
and Lady Macbeth:
neither saw the impolitic ghost.

Gentlemen, be assured:
if you live, if you die,
women pay
no attention to you.

 

 

–Tom Riley

They Also Serve

They Also Serve

 

 

The pope is cracking down on those who dare
Suggest that openness can go too far.
For dissent from dissent he doesn’t care.
Of his own show he means to be the star—
And, if you challenge him, hey, no cigar!
Smoking is streng verboten anyway:
It causes global warming. Alles klar?
German advisers smugly rule the day.
Silencing critics, Francis? Let me say
That I would dearly love to make your list
Of those to silence. For your wrath I pray.
But what am I? A rhyming satirist
Of no account. I’ll win no papal hearing.
They also serve who simply go on sneering.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Backsided Compliment

Backsided Compliment

 

 

Whedon disses the daughter of Trump?
There’s a reason that Whedon’s a grump.
There’s a cause for his hate.
When he’s with his own mate,
Poor girl can’t tell his face from his rump.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Joss Whedon compares Ivanka Trump to a Pekingese.)

Bitch Removal

Bitch Removal

 

 

Bitch preached righteousness high on the air—
But before scheduled takeoff. Some dare
To dispense with convention
And engage in contention.
Noble choice! Get her ass out of there!

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Trump opponent removed from flight for verbal abuse.)

First Week

First Week

 

 

Promised action – and now he delivers.
Lousy losers shed salt tears in rivers.
Pundits loudly agree:
Such things simply can’t be!
The establishment’s power structure shivers.

 

 

–Tom Riley