Ben Dover

by flammeusgladius

Ben Dover



“The Prairie Home Companion” now takes on
A whole new creepy sodomitic meaning.
Garrison’s puffy visage haunts the john.
Toward fire-and-brimstone comebacks he’s careening.
And, if celestial courts aren’t quite convening,
Internal penalties still operate.
Such arrogance is truly overweening:
It’ll cause Keillor’s colon to inflate.
If hackneyed puns, punk, help you masturbate,
Then make them in the closet of your mind—
And leave the real men out of it. But wait:
Wise words to you are road signs to the blind.
You won’t avoid what’s bogus and obscene.
You take it up the chute – then lick it clean.



–Tom Riley



(Semi-literate pussy Garrison Keillor refers to Gen. James Mattis as “Ben Dover.”)