Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Month: February, 2017

Pray Hard

Pray Hard

 

 

In our system of pious belief,
Those who pray hard will not come to grief
As the impious will.
I believe that stuff still—
But my prayers are increasingly brief.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Sheer Genius

Sheer Genius

 

 

A sheer genius at wrongheadedness,
He does more when he ought to do less.
Do you think he’s as low
As he’s going? Hell, no!
How far down he’ll end up, who can guess?

 

 

–Tom Riley

Stoic Reflecteth on Nonsense

The Stoic Reflecteth on Nonsense

 

 

I shall surely hear nonsense today—
Part of mankind’s unending display
Of unreason. No doubt
I shall hear nonsense shout.
I shall not wish that nonsense away.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Naughty Poet

Naughty Poet

 

 

Have you said vulgar things to the Muse?
Have you dared to insert twisted views
When she stooped to inspire
With her heavenly fire?
Buddy, quit with the smirk. That’s old news.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Bad Luck

Bad Luck

 

 

There’s misfortune – and then there’s disaster.
The distinction I now make much faster.
What is slight, what’s severe,
I perceive in my sphere.
Of bad luck and its kinds I’m the master.

 

 

–Tom Riley

One Scalp

One Scalp

 

 

Damn! The Democrats got rid of Flynn!
(Yes, the CIA surely pitched in
to secure his destruction.)
The results exert suction.
It’s the terrorists, children, who win.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Gen. Michael Flynn resigns.)

Personhood Follies

Personhood Follies

 

 

(for Karen Swallow Prior)

 

 

Abortion, folks, is truly A-okay.
It isn’t really homicide at all.
The fetus ain’t a person! So I say
For reasons solid as a granite wall.
Personhood I define, you will recall,
As that which I possess and embryos
Do not. Accept my reasoning! Don’t stall!
My system hits the question on the nose.
To be a person, unlike all of those
That I exclude, you must resemble me
In having an internal life that shows
And demonstrating rationality.
My mind is the most noble of my traits.
Hey, look at me! I’m having conscious states!

 

 

–Tom Riley

Goal-Oriented

Goal-Oriented

 

 

“I must be,” he intoned, “in control.
I must govern all parts, plus the whole.
I must boss and command.
What? I don’t understand?
Comprehension has not been my goal.”

 

 

–Tom Riley

Botox Babe

Botox Babe

 

 

The wrinkles she
got rid of were her
most attractive feature.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Sweet Sonneteer

Sweet Sonneteer

 

 

(for Janet)

 

 

Your husband tried to write a sonnet, eh?
I cringed and chuckled when I viewed the shit
He labored at producing. Mrs. Shea:
Your husband is a semiliterate,
Plentiful only in his lack of wit
And in his fund of adiposity.
His scansion sucks. His rhymes don’t help a bit.
The wisest critics all agree with me.
But these are faults that loving eyes can’t see—
So I appeal to your self-preservation
And to your simple practicality.
For your own sake now, shed all obfuscation!
Oh, please adopt a cautious attitude!
Don’t ever be mistaken, ma’am, for food….

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea tries his hand at the sonnet.)