Heroic Resolution

by flammeusgladius

Heroic Resolution


Hurray! Mark Shea is here to rescue Jews!
He brings to bear not only heaps of smarts
But also mastery of martial arts.
Vile Nazi swine are trembling at the news.
He’s driven by his cool progressive views.
He’s self-assured as deadly action starts.
And pretty Jewish females from their hearts
Will thank him as they watch the Nazis lose.
But if, as is more probable today,
It isn’t Nazi swine but Muslim saints
Who want to sweep the Jewish race away,
Who want to scourge the Jew until he faints
Then drown him in his own blood – what the hey!—
Progressive Mark will then have no complaints.


–Tom Riley




Line 2: “Heaps of smarts”: Irony is my most important product.

Line 3: “Martial arts”: If you know what Shea looks like, you will especially enjoy the irony of this image. Kung fu panda, indeed!

Line 4: By “Nazi swine,” Shea means Trump supporters. No indication that these are Nazis? Doesn’t matter to Shea….

Lines 9-10: Since the composition of the sonnet, a disgruntled radical Muslim – and not a Nazi – has indeed been identified as the culprit in at least some of these crimes.