Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Month: March, 2017

Dream Big

Dream Big

 

 

Obama’s dreamers dreamt of brighter days—
And bathrooms where they’d boldly violate
The daughters of America. Why wait
For meaningless consent when power plays
In northern schools, naïve in countless ways,
Would overcome all feeble right-wing hate
And win the prize? That girl was dreamer bait!
Having the age advantage truly pays.
Obama’s dreamers found a safer space
For the pursuit of happiness. In teams,
They moved on to a more fulfilling place.
But you, in your response, go to extremes!
We must say: your reaction’s a disgrace!
Why would you want to crush a dreamer’s dreams?

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Illegal immigrants rape 14-year-old in high school bathroom.)

Genre Discrimination

Genre Discrimination

 

 

Comic book writers
are millionaires now, but haikuists
are still starving.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Pie Chart

Pie Chart

 

 

To find out what I think, I check the polls.
I always choose the largest slice of pie.
My means are flexible, as are my goals.
To find out what I think, I check the polls.
Sincerity means playing all my roles
With vigor. Both vociferous and sly,
To find out what I think, I check the polls.
I always choose the largest slice of pie.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Service with a Smile

Service with a Smile

 

 

“Our schools,” he says, “are in tremendous shape!
How foolish can your criticism be?
All of our athletes get to break the tape.
All of our teachers endlessly agree
To teach the students in conformity
With standards that our world cannot escape.
Our every move promotes equality.
I myself ought to wear a bright red cape!
Why? Because I beat down the giant ape
That seeks to orate disrespectfully
About our older students. Mouths may gape—
But I proceed apace. Hey, look and see!
I don’t dread comments on the Twitterscape.
I serve grown men our little girls to rape!”

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(School superintendent sees no larger implications in rape of 14-year-old by adult illegal “student.”)

Blue Skies

Blue Skies

 

 

Are the skies blue and perfectly clear?
Is the sun’s smile a smile that’s sincere?
Is the lawn rich and green?
Are the jokes always clean?
Then the truth is I don’t belong here.

 

 

–Tom Riley

A Little Joke

A Little Joke

 

 

He made a joke. He made a little joke.
Who knew it would become a whole religion?
He changed the world with one fantastic stroke.
He made a joke. He made a little joke.
The sky waxed vast. The earth began to choke.
An eagle reigned in place of every pigeon.
He made a joke. He made a little joke.
Who knew it would become a whole religion?

 

 

–Tom Riley

Don’t Care

Don’t Care

 

 

Of your sass I have now had my fill.
You don’t care? Are you saying that still?
Of your views I’m aware.
Oh, I know you don’t care!
But you will, little man. Yes, you will.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Bible Thumpers

Bible Thumpers

 

 

When leftists quote the Bible, how I smile!
They want you to believe that Lenin wrote it.
There is no twisted reading that’s too vile
When leftists quote the Bible. How I smile
At their absurd interpretation style!
When thunder rolls, they see no need to note it.
When leftists quote the Bible, how I smile!
They want you to believe that Lenin wrote it.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Solemnity

Solemnity

 

 

You received what I meant as a jest
With great gravity. Give it a rest!
Only imbeciles choke
On a trivial joke.
Your solemnity makes you a pest.

 

 

–Tom Riley

O’Thulhu

O’Thulhu

 

 

“Everybody’s Irish on St. Patrick’s Day….”

 

 

O you who wait and dream in ocean deeps,
O you who hold destruction in the strength
Of deadly tentacles, your power sleeps—
But we affirm that it must wake at length.
The surface of the seas will boil and break,
Delivering your otherworldly ire.
For such a cataclysm our hearts ache.
Annihilation is our fierce desire.
Therefore, O Dread Cthulhu, let the day
When Patrick filled your ocean with the coils
Of serpents be the day when you display
Your greatness! Look: the sea already boils!
Soon will its waters, held for ages, burst!
But let me finish up my whiskey first….

 

 

–Tom Riley