Bestial Nature
The bestial nature never gets its due.
Reproachful spirits have the flesh surrounded.
Because it doesn’t seem to have a clue,
The bestial nature never gets its due.
It’s dismissed by the elevated crew,
But it alone is ever truly grounded.
The bestial nature never gets its due.
Reproachful spirits have the flesh surrounded.
–Tom Riley
Rising to the Surface
Why don’t we end our conversation now?
I hear your idiocy surfacing–
And that is something I cannot allow.
Why don’t we end our conversation now?
Is brevity the soul of wit? And how!
At the end of a short rope, you should swing.
Why don’t we end our conversation — now?
I hear your idiocy surfacing.
–Tom Riley
Counting Syllables
To rhymed forms his aversion was strong–
So he opted for haiku. Not long
did it take to complete
his example. Dude: sweet!
But the haiku too, lad, you got wrong.
–Tom Riley
The Patient Universe
“I pit my skill against the universe!”
The patient universe did not engage.
“Loss hurts, but inactivity hurts worse.
I pit my skill against the universe!
My challenge I shall endlessly rehearse!
I am the tortured hero of my age!
I pit my skill against the universe!”
The patient universe did not engage.
–Tom Riley
Extra! Extra!
Hey, you extras! You make Bill Nye sick!
He will penalize you for the trick
Of existing. But I
Move we penalize Nye
For existing as pencil-necked prick.
–Tom Riley
It’s Not All about You
Ha! You thought I was speaking of you!
To that end you discovered no clue–
for there was none to find.
You were not on my mind–
But assumed, as all narcissists do.
–Tom Riley
Democrats
Democrats are the height of purity.
Just ask them and they’ll tell you — tell you true.
You’re unconvinced? Why, then, the problem’s you!
You’ll have to be investigated, see?
Democrats don’t proceed illegally.
The law indeed adores them through and through.
It morphs to suit their whole delightful crew.
It serves them as it wouldn’t you or me.
Democrats therefore get to lecture us.
Line up to listen, stupid — and obey!
The virtuous can be imperious.
You will be quiet as they have their say.
You’re not allowed to be a stubborn cuss.
Alter your thoughts at their command — today!
–Tom Riley
Friends
Friends, you’re happy to say, you don’t lack–
Although some of your friends are on crack,
their acts endlessly vile.
Go ahead: chat and smile–
But prepare for the knife in the back.
–Tom Riley
Angry
Sometimes, guy, though you wish to spew spittle,
You must rein in your anger a little.
Though you want vengeance bad,
though you’re boundlessly mad,
God does not care one jot or one tittle.
–Tom Riley
Captain Playactor
Cap’s big head just got bigger — and lighter.
On his own line the prick is a biter–
and has reeled himself in.
Let correction begin!
You’re an actor, dear sir, not a fighter.
–Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 
