Gianforte Falls Short of Our Standards

by flammeusgladius

Gianforte Falls Short of Our Standards



He threw the little asshole to the ground–
And that’s what politicians must not do.
With sacred status boundless and profound,
The journalist works hard for me and you
Unearthing what is or what may be true–
So every journalistic lad and lass
Must rest secure from consequences. Who
Would dare deny this principle, alas?
He threw the pushy pansy on his ass.
He broke some glasses, too, I understand.
He nixed the loser’s freedom to harass.
On that, our proud reporter never planned.
GOP hopefuls, folks, are clearly flakes.
Such journalists should be impaled on stakes.



–Tom Riley



(GOP candidate charged with body-slamming reporter.)