Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Month: July, 2017

Endangered

Endangered

 

Endangered spiders, lady, crowd your room—
And don’t you dare to kill a single one!
A species shouldn’t have to face its doom.
Endangered spiders, lady, crowd your room!
You don’t embrace them freely, I assume.
I know such coexistence isn’t fun.
Endangered spiders, lady, crowd your room—
And don’t you dare to kill a single one!

 

—Tom Riley

Undignified

Undignified

 

You’ve expressed an undignified view
Of our leaders, that whole lofty crew
That plans all for our good
As they’ve prayed that they could.
Toward rebellion you nod. I’m with you!

 

—Tom Riley

Thinking of Others

Thinking of Others

 

May your skies be oppressive and gray!
May the earth fall disgusted away
From your foul, hated feet!
May your wail be complete!
Otherwise, have a wonderful day….

 

—Tom Riley

Pro-Life Leader

Pro-Life Leader

 

Shea’s cheering for the death of Charlie Gard.
(Socialized medicine must be defended.)
Shea doesn’t give a shit if you’re offended
By his dismissal of a life ill-starred.
The lives he finds it easy to discard
Are lives his God has surely not intended.
To higher realms of wisdom he’s ascended
Than any you have known. Shea’s not just lard
And facial hair, though those are what you see.
He’s brainy. Oh, he really can’t begin
To vent his intellectuality!
Your low opinion of him is a sin.
Die, Charlie Gard! Some deaths are meant to be!
Hurray for socialized Shea medicine!

 

—Tom Riley

 

 

(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea mocks those defending Charlie Gard.)

Brief Comments

Brief Comments

 

Snowflakes melt in the heat of my sneers.
My brief comments reduce them to tears.
But they don’t know the pain
of my total disdain.
To express that contempt would take years.

 

—Tom Riley

Self-Doubt

SelfDoubt

 

Does your heart fill with heavy self-doubt?
Sure, it does. But don’t tremble or pout!
Lad, despair is a sin.
Look: the pitches come in!
You must simply keep batting them out.

 

—Tom Riley

Hat Check Guy

Hat Check Guy

 

Did Trump stoop to recover the hat
Of a lowly Marine? What a brat!
Oh, how damn insincere!
Lord Obama would sneer
At the merest suggestion of that!

 

—Tom Riley

 

(Trump fetches cap for Marine.)

Dragonslayer

Dragonslayer

 

Sir, the dragon you’re thinking to slay
Doesn’t really exist — not today.
Such delusions don’t last.
They are all in the past.
Find some other absurd game to play!

 

—Tom Riley

Barack Beyond Temptation

Barack Beyond Temptation

 

Others may be affected by the charms
Of Mrs. Trump and find her smokin’ hot.
Others may shake, a little or a lot,
At the sight of those cheekbones and bare arms.
Others’ hearts may raise echoing alarms.
Others’ libidos may be tied in knot
On knot. Lads, are your own defenses shot?
Most are the same in cities and on farms.
But virtuous Obama is immune.
His troth to his true love is ever crescent.
Melania can never make him swoon.
Her brightest smile is slight and evanescent.
To his true love he sings a constant tune:
Reggie Love’s organ, mostly when tumescent.

 

—Tom Riley

Body and Soul

Body and Soul

 

Poor guy died — and his dog ate his face.
Ate his shoulders as well. No disgrace!
His flesh went to the belly
Of his pet, slightly smelly—
And his soul to a far grimmer place.

 

—Tom Riley

 

(If you die, your dog may eat you….)