Hope for Chelsea Handler

by flammeusgladius

Hope for Chelsea Handler


There’s sad news here for Chelsea Handler, folks.
She’ll never get to realize her dream
Of sex with Donald Trump. To make that team,
A gal needs stunning looks, not pointless jokes.
In seas of envy, lovelorn Chelsea soaks.
Melania’s appearance is extreme—
And of the goddess sort. Oh, it would seem
That there’s no hope! On this news, Chelsea chokes.
Ours is an age, though, of technology.
Frau Handler, why not try the robot way?
The experts will assemble cunningly
A Donald replica with which to play.
You’re sure to make the cost back easily
When Kathy Griffin rents him for a day.


—Tom Riley