News Flash
Trump colluded — and Mueller pursues.
He is ferreting out all the clues.
All is going as planned.
Little green Martians land.
Would you like to hear more of the news?
—Tom Riley
Policy for the Coming Age
Democrats are so mad, they could burst.
Of all presidents, Trump is the worst
In the things he will say.
Dems despise his display
Of vulgarity. Hey! Haiti first!
—Tom Riley
Verbal Compulsion
The clock yawned — but I said: “Out of time!”
You did right — but I called it a crime.
I’m a liar? No, no!
You should not put it so!
I’ll do anything, though, for a rhyme.
—Tom Riley
Breathing Deeply
What? Do your sudden curses fill the air?
You fool! I’m breathing deeply nonetheless.
Your furious constructions: they repair
What? Do your sudden curses fill the air?
Vainly do you appeal for me to care.
Serene, I answer neither no nor yes.
What? Do your sudden curses fill the air?
You fool! I’m breathing deeply nonetheless!
—Tom Riley
How He Is
Some folks like Trump in spite of how he is.
I like him most insistently because.
Oh, what an entertaining act is his!
Some folks like Trump in spite of how he is.
“The idiot! He flunks our statesman quiz!”
I do not number that among his flaws.
Some folks like Trump in spite of how he is.
I like him most insistently because.
—Tom Riley
Don’t Mess with the Magic
Did you mess with the magic? That’s bad.
Did you face consequences? That’s sad.
I am waiting for when
You will do it again.
There are some lads who never learn, lad.
—Tom Riley
Shock Effect
What a naughty word Trump dared to say!
We retreat in expressive dismay
From his unrestrained diction!
But our shock is a fiction:
We use cruder words twelve times per day.
—Tom Riley
What Winning Is Like
Though McConnell has phasers on stun,
Schumer’s speech fails to spoil all our fun.
Schumer tries to save face—
But he writhes in disgrace.
Mouthy pansy backed down, and Trump won.
—Tom Riley
Peccatum Percipere
“You shouldn’t notice that the Pope’s a fool!”
“I wouldn’t — but he constantly insists
I must.” “Perception’s sinful, as a rule:
You shouldn’t notice that the Pope’s a fool.
Telling the truth is terribly uncool!
You ought to wrap it up in verbal mists!
You shouldn’t notice that the Pope’s a fool!”
“I wouldn’t — but he constantly insists.”
—Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 