Preachy Creatures

by flammeusgladius

Preachy Creatures

 

(for Andrew Kersting)

 

John Wayne was a misogynist, you know.
He slapped Maureen O’Hara on the ass—
And certain creatures of the preachy class
Are shocked to see such gestures. They let flow
Their sermonizing verbiage. They sow
The seeds of doubt in fans who give a pass
To John Wayne’s fictive actions. “Don’t harass!”
These preachers cry. It’s quite the snowflake show.
I can’t believe they’re serious at first—
But soon perceive that irony has fled
Their solemn minds. Unthinking and accursed,
They classify and judge. Their hearts have bled
Indeed. Their throats are just about to burst.
They wish John Wayne had slapped their butts instead.

 

–Tom Riley