Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Month: March, 2018

Behind the Gym

Behind the Gym

 

Back behind the gym, punks stood in line.
Joe would beat them all up by design.
His strength came as a shock!
But, if he’d met Barack,
He’d have opted for sweet 69.

 

–Tom Riley

Tough Guy

Tough Guy

 

Who was real tough in high school? Why, Joe!
Who was dripping with honor? You know
That it had to be he.
All sane judges agree.
We must all take his word for it, though.

 

–Tom Riley

Good Pants

Good Pants

 

Biden did come on Trump, so they say,
While in high school. And was there a fray?
Hey, calm down! As you were!
The fight didn’t occur.
Biden had his good pants on that day.

 

–Tom Riley

 

(Creepy Joe Biden “would have” beaten up President Trump.)

Greatness Waits

Greatness Waits

 

“I have got to be brilliant, I say,
In a clearly earth-shattering way!
Greatness waits in my heart.
I must give it its start!”
“Maybe so, little man. Not today.”

 

–Tom Riley

Refutation Offends

Refutation Offends

 

“Though the facts that I cited weren’t true,
Let’s consider my thesis anew
Now in light of vague trends!
Refutation offends.
Though I’m wrong, I’m still more right than you.”

 

–Tom Riley

Little Buddies

Little Buddies

 

Yes, it’s true. Without recourse to vets,
She keeps 83 cats – and forgets
Hardly ever to feed them.
Weird! She sure doesn’t need them.
On her scalp she has even more pets.

 

–Tom Riley

Quiet, Man!

Quiet, Man!

 

(for Andrew Kersting)

 

Some social justice twit just dissed John Wayne.
Punk says we shouldn’t like The Quiet Man.
He cries as only such a loser can
That it’s misogynistic. Cry in vain
And rack your minuscule, pre-programmed brain
For further virtue signals, Fancy Dan!
Follow the loony Left’s consistent plan!
Maureen O’Hara never did complain.
You’ve got your genres twisted, Gamma Guy.
You’re judging from a depth and not a height.
To grasp the context you don’t even try.
May you see stars, since you won’t see the light!
Only an empty spirit could deny
The roaring glory of that final fight.

 

–Tom Riley

Harpy

Harpy

 

Why is this harpy anally obsessed?
Because her buddy Shea is such an ass.
She zeroes in indeed – and gives no rest.
Why is this harpy anally obsessed?
In backsides she has opted to invest
Because she is a Shea-converted lass.
Why is this harpy anally obsessed?
Because her buddy Shea is such an ass.

 

–Tom Riley

Pezzulo Pain

Pezzulo Pain

 

Her incredibly-dumb meditation
Is an irritant past toleration!
No, that’s wrong. It’s much worse.
It’s a shame and a curse!
It’s another damn rump violation!

 

–Tom Riley

Big Sister Is Watching

Big Sister Is Watching

 

The Pezzulo is watching you closely—
And reacting, at times, quite verbosely.
Buddy, guard your patoot!
If she gets up your chute,
You’ll regard your existence morosely.

 

–Tom Riley