Sausage Abuse

Sausage Abuse

 

“What the hell are you doing there, Shea?
That meat’s not even kosher! To play
With that sausage is wrong!”
Shea’s resistance is strong:
At his ego he’s stroking away.

 

–Tom Riley

Intermittent Jew

The Intermittent Jew

 

Shea’s pretending again he’s a Jew.
Oddly, those he convinces aren’t few.
Followers shout hurray
As he grouses: “Oy, vey!”
They all want to believe that it’s true.

 

–Tom Riley

Mark Shea, Nazi Fighter!

Mark Shea, Nazi Fighter!

 

“Everyone who will not kiss my feet
Is a Nazi!” cries Shea. “What a treat
To be fighting away
Against Nazis today!”
His delusion at last is complete.

 

–Tom Riley

Judge of All the Earth

Judge of All the Earth

 

Who is the judge of Father Peter West?
That super-Christian guy, Scott Eric Alt!
Oh, what a lad! He’s Christian to a fault.
Of all our pious judges, he’s the best.
In only seven years, he has progressed
So far that he perceives insipid salt
And hastens to discard it. Father: halt!
The righteous Alt now beats his mighty chest.
He is defending really ugly chicks
From rapes that will not happen anyway.
He’s fighting Nazis. Well, if that wins clicks,
He is. Such is the purpose of his day.
But, most of all, he’s proudly saying nix
To those who dare critique his crony Shea.

 

–Tom Riley

 

(Amateur theologian issues orders to pro-life priest.)

Dexter’s Guarantee

Dexter’s Guarantee

 

“What is it with you and rape?  No one’s raping anyone.”

 

—Dexter Morgan

 

Sorry to disappoint, you wretched toad:
No one is raping anybody here.
With bogus dread you’re anxious to explode.
Sorry to disappoint, you wretched toad:
I fear your self-deception’s overflowed.
You’re nuts – though maybe crazily sincere.
Sorry to disappoint, you wretched toad:
No one is raping anybody here.

 

–Tom Riley

 

(The Pezzulo reports imaginary rape threats.)

Ain’t It the Truth?

Ain’t It the Truth?

 

He’s so hot to fight Nazis, he’ll faint
If he misses his chance! My complaint?
Ain’t no Nazis to fight.
Still, it all works out right –
For a General Patton he ain’t.

 

–Tom Riley

 

(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea still pretends to fight Nazis.)

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Love Poems of a Hatemonger….

 

Defender

Defender

 

All you blacks, all you Jews: count on Shea!
He is there to defend you today.
You should not smell a rat.
Sure, he’s weak. Sure, he’s fat.
But that means he cannot run away!

 

–Tom Riley

Rectal Probery

Rectal Probery

 

Wrong, Pezzulo. Rape isn’t my topic.
Such assumptions are, well, misanthropic.
Rapists? Ain’t been no sighting.
It is just that your writing
Is unbearably colonoscopic.

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(The Pezzulo accuses critics of psychic rape.)

On the Prowl

On the Prowl

 

Senator Booker: is he on the prowl?
He’s asking nominees about gay sex!
And no one in his party’s crying foul.
Senator Booker: is he on the prowl?
Does he think guys will just throw in the towel?
Is there some inner weakness he detects?
Senator Booker: is he on the prowl?
He’s asking nominees about gay sex!

 

–Tom Riley