Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Month: August, 2018

Discomfiture

Discomfiture

Your discomfiture, sir, takes its shape.
Beat your chest like a huge movie ape.
Slink away like a snake.
But the measures you take
Offer finally no real escape.

–Tom Riley

The Guy

The Guy

Rick Wilson wants us all to understand
He is the guy, the guy who’s been and done.
Nor for him idiotic Trumpite fun!
Nay, he prefers a strategy well planned!
As sagest strategist in all the land,
He’s pretty nearly Ronald Reagan’s son—
Far more than Michael and that other one.
He proudly gives himself a great big hand.
He now unleashes all his eloquence—
And hardly pauses for a dash or comma.
Opponents rise – but make no fucking sense.
He’s veteran of high strategic drama.
He will maintain his pride in all events.
He strategized those losses to Obama.

–Tom Riley

(Rick Wilson pitches book.)

Real Bad News

Real Bad News

Virtuously did all the bishops vote
On issues such as family separation
And dire impediments to immigration
And every current fashion. Did you note
How nearly they approached by asymptote
To stylish glory, earthbound exaltation?
They earned the media’s brief adulation
By mouthing platitudes they’d learned by rote.
But now they face the howls of real bad news:
Their open-mindedness let wolves run wild
Within the flock. They rushed to take their cues
From a foul world they ought to have reviled.
Hey, who am I to judge? Who to accuse?
The greater good yields not to one hurt child.

–Tom Riley

Cardinal Donald Wuerl, archbishop of Washington. left, looks toward the crowd with Pope Francis following a Mass outside the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception Wednesday, Sept. 23, 2015, in Washington. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Pay More?

Pay More?

Does Trump pay more for anal?” quipped the shit.
Later, in an apology, and boast,
He explained how his standards were the most
Exacting, even cooler than his wit.
Ann Coulter never really threw a fit
At Mr. Wilson’s sly strategic roast.
Her spirit never near gave up the ghost.
She didn’t dread the wisecracks of a twit.
What was the dickhead truly getting at
With a remark so undeserved and crass?
The witticism klutzily fell flat.
It didn’t even manage to harass.
You aren’t the Donald’s type, punk – and that’s that.
Go find another buyer for your ass.

–Tom Riley

All Worn Out

All Worn Out

Have you tended all day to your chores?
Have you won many games, many wars,
On a small daily scale?
And does life now seem stale?
Weary guys are unbearable bores!

–Tom Riley

New Friends

New Friends

Does Rick Wilson have new leftist friends?
What a thrill! He no longer contends
With the Commies and freaks.
No! They smile, pinch his cheeks—
And he takes it from them at both ends.

–Tom Riley

Proven Track Record

Proven Track Record

In the now-distant past, Rick assailed
Leftist notions that slimily hailed
From the Democrat side.
Now with freaks he’s allied.
He takes pride in the fine ads that failed.

–Tom Riley

Scarlet Parachute

The Scarlet Parachute

Peter Strzok: FBI guy no more.
But his state’s not a state to deplore.
Like the rest of his kind—
Brennan here springs to mind—
He will soon be a media whore.

–Tom Riley

Cosmos of a Consultant

Cosmos of a Consultant

When you fuck up in Trump’s world, you’re fired
And informed you unduly aspired.
Not Rick Wilson’s world, though:
In that realm, “stop” means “go.”
Fucking up is the way you get hired.

–Tom Riley

Unshaven

Unshaven

See Rick Wilson’s chin? On close inspection,
There is fuzz – a whole scruffy collection
That just up and appeared.
Do not call it a beard!
It is more of a fungal infection.

–Tom Riley