You Gotta Hand It to Him

You Gotta Hand It to Him

“Tyr gave his
hand for you!” I’m partial
to the wolf.

–Tom Riley

Dislocation

Dislocation

It happened in a place no voice can name,
A house whose outline grows distinct, then fades.
Perception there resists mere logic’s raids,
And certainty is something facts can’t tame.
It happened there – but happened all the same.
Specialists in oneiromantic trades
Will give the troubled witness lofty grades.
It happened, she can well and truly claim.
It’s never right to sneer: “Ah, just a dream.”
No! Dreams are truths uncannily restored.
They’re higher truths. The whole angelic team
Proclaims this rule with one elite accord.
Let be find its finale now in seem!
Such is the tale of Christine Blasey Ford.

–Tom Riley

Heroism

Heroism

They’ve mistreated her. Oh, what a sin!
To condemn we can hardly begin,
There’s so much condemnation.
Still, there’s this compensation:
She’s heroically raking it in.

–Tom Riley

(Christine Ford’s GoFundMe accounts overflow with donations.)

Latest Allegation

The Latest Allegation

The latest allegation comes from Shea:
“Don’t you dare leave me out! Brett Kavanaugh
Molested me as well! That fateful day—
Or night, I can’t be sure – the bastard saw
My giant ass. His lust rose up as raw
As sushi, and he pushed me to a bed
That somehow was on hand. I felt his paw
Upon my flesh. Mark Judge belched: Go ahead!
I rolled away and speedily I fled—
As Daphne fled Apollo. When and where
This happened, I can’t say. Believe instead
Because I’m soft and womanish! I care—
And that is why at last I’m speaking out.
My courage no mere man should ever doubt.”

–Tom Riley

(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea calls Kavanaugh “a lying, petulant, aggressive, angry bully.”)

Leechcraft

Leechcraft

The Church has a profound social teaching—
Which gives Mark Shea a cool way of leeching!
Since he lies with great ease,
He just fakes expertise.
Lots of parishes, buddy, are reaching.

–Tom Riley

(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea gives talk on Catholic social teaching.)

Co-Perpetrators

Co-Perpetrators

Hey, witnesses are perpetrators, too!
Ask that dumb broad Rebecca Hamilton:
If you don’t buy her shit, then shame on you!

What? Baseless accusations right on cue?
Then vote the way we tell you, everyone!
Hey, witnesses are perpetrators, too—

So what they say is void! Please get a clue!
Rebecca’s phasers are not set on stun.
If you don’t buy her shit, then shame on you.

What leftist bitches screech is always true.
You cannot answer them: “Forget it, hon.”
Hey, witnesses are perpetrators, too!

They rape their helpless victims through and through.
Rebecca now will lecture us a ton.
If you don’t buy her shit, then shame on you!

Your inner state is red – and makes her blue.
She judges you for all your wicked fun.
Hey, witnesses are perpetrators, too!
If you don’t buy her shit, then shame on you!

–Tom Riley

(Planned Parenthood ally and bogus pro-lifer Rebecca Hamilton calls Kavanaugh’s witnesses “co-perpetrators.”)

Accusation Insurance

Accusation Insurance

Can a nominee get to the Court?
Will the squishes maintain their support
When the Left frames bold lies?
Hey, perhaps it is wise
To be mad for the right to abort!

–Tom Riley

Cheap Trick

Cheap Trick

Dr. Ford tells an indistinct tale.
Democrats howl and whine, roar and wail.
Their behavior’s extreme.
What an obvious scheme!
Still, the GOP’s likely to fail.

–Tom Riley

Lesser Catamite

The Lesser Catamite

Who will do any shit for the sake
Of the Left? Well, God saw fit to take
From this world John McCain—
Who now suffers Hell’s pain.
For a while, though, the Left has Jeff Flake.

–Tom Riley

A Prick in the Face Is Worth Two in the Pants

A Prick in the Face Is Worth Two in the Pants

Democrats trolled for girls who would lie.
Allegations could then multiply!
And they found one. Hurray!
Kavanaugh, go away!
Rules of evidence need not apply.

–Tom Riley