Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Kavonovsky

Kavonovsky

Well, Kavanaugh is cooked. There’s an accuser
Who says he tried to rape her long ago.
Insanely drunk, a pig, he tried to use her
To satisfy his lust. Her frantic no
He stifled with his brutish mitt. Her foe
She managed to escape. Gals, give a cheer!
But, though she got away, yea, even so,
She’s struggled with these facts year after year!
Have confidence: her purpose is sincere.
You can’t say that she’s speaking up today
Because she travels in a far-left sphere
And hates the GOP. Come on! No way!
It doesn’t matter how her students rate her.
(I’ll bet a bunch of Russians raped her later.)

–Tom Riley

(Russian criminals courtesy of Arthouse Tattoo.)

True Testimony of a Disinterested Witness

The True Testimony of a Disinterested Witness

Kavanaugh tried to rape her. It’s true!
Don’t you dare say he didn’t! She’ll sue!
Don’t you treat her unfairly!
She just got away – barely.
Oh, yeah. ETs abducted her, too.

–Tom Riley

Eminently Qualified

Eminently Qualified

Pope needs unthinking fools to kiss his ass—
And Shea is eminently qualified.
It helps a lot that Shea lacks sense and class:
That means that no request will be denied!
Even in utter silence, this pope lied—
A trick that Shea is certain to admire.
In artless verbiage the slave will hide
The master’s filthy crimes. He’ll never tire!
Whatever high-placed pederasts require,
Submissive Shea is happy to supply.
“After all, who implanted this desire
If not the Lord?” Shea’s quick to say, “Aye, aye!”
And, if you find such eagerness obscene,
You’re a cog in the right-wing noise machine.

–Tom Riley

(PP ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea defends papal malfeasance.)