Judgmental

by flammeusgladius

Judgmental

Who wants to kill some dogs? The Mighty Shea!
They made him shit his pants, and now he’s pissed.
It’s true: he raised a weapon in his fist
And shaped from his vast bulk a grand display.
Eventually, unharmed, he got away—
Because he had the courage to resist.
Nonetheless, dogs are added to the list
Of things that frighten him and have to pay.
Don’t plead for mercy, crazy PETA punks!
He still remembers how he dropped his fudge.
From his distaste for puppies, cats, and skunks,
For snakes and spiders too, he will not budge.
Practical kindness tests he always flunks.
Of how he stank that day, he’ll be the judge.

–Tom Riley

(PP ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea wants dogs destroyed.)