Ethereal Blather

Ethereal Blather

(for Phillip Campbell)

Bishop Barron’s expressing his views
On the issues we see in the news.
If you’re Catholic, you see,
You’re compelled to agree.
What ethereal blather he spews!

–Tom Riley

Black and Blue

Black and Blue

The black raven
speaks truer than the sky
that’s briefly blue.

–Tom Riley

Tailgunner Joe

Tailgunner Joe

Had you no decency, Tailgunner Joe?
You wouldn’t leave our commie friends alone.
You didn’t blush to hear the leftists groan
About the way you dared to fight the foe.
Why on earth did the nation need to know
Where infiltrators were? The Great Unknown
Can be a comfort in the Twilight Zone—
And truth is frequently the cause of woe.
They cut you off and pushed you out of sight
At last. Your doggedness just couldn’t shatter
Those final obstacles, nor could your light
Reach shadows duly shielded. Even sadder,
When in the end we learned that you’d been right,
The pundits sneered and said it didn’t matter.

–Tom Riley

In Angulis Platearum

In Angulis Platearum

Shea’s trying really hard to say that yes
To God. What’s more, he wants us all to know
How hard he’s really trying. What a show
He makes of it! How Pharisees progress!
Street corners were the ticket to success
In former times. Today, though, stages grow.
The Internet lets hundreds – thousands! – know
That Shea’s an earnest Christian, more or less.
Give me a break from such attention whores!
My gaze has pierced the artificial mist
That shields false witnesses and drooling bores.
Sorry excuse, this lame apologist!
His belly is the god that he adores,
And cream-filled donuts are his eucharist.

–Tom Riley

(Dog-hater and notorious glutton Mark Shea tries really hard – and advertises, too!)

In a Vacuum

In a Vacuum

If you listen
in a vacuum, you won’t
hear the bell.

–Tom Riley

Say Yes?

Say Yes?

Formerly, Mark Shea held he was the Lord.
Now he’s pretending he’s the Virgin Mary.
Of such equivalencies I am wary.
I say the motherfucker’s off his gourd.
The exaltation he is striving toward
Is bogus. He’s a big fat whining fairy
Fishing for all the bullshit he can carry—
Or all his Facebook friend list can afford.
Are people mean to you, poor bulbous bunny?
Do they decline to kiss your monstrous ass?
When you complain, their disposition’s sunny?
They make jokes on the subject of your mass?
I find your woe-is-me reaction funny.
Are you demanding sympathy? Hard pass.

–Tom Riley

(Dog-hater and notorious glutton Mark Shea cries about “saying yes to God.”)

Dispassionate

Dispassionate

A dispassionate fellow named Chuck
Failed to cry to the heavens: “Oh, fuck!”
The fierce need to show passion
He dismissed as a fashion.
He opined that the passionate suck.

–Tom Riley

Pitch Man

Pitch Man

Why does he always pitch the welfare state?
Because he is himself a public leech.
Fierce self-reliance he can’t help but hate.
Why does he always pitch the welfare state
And, doubly asinine, pontificate?
Why does he stomp and bellow, hop and screech?
Why does he always pitch the welfare state?
Because he is himself a public leech.

–Tom Riley

Lofty Romance

Lofty Romance

Have I dreamt of a lofty romance
Or else yearned to get into your pants?
Let me pause to speak true:
I had not noticed you
Till you spoke. Stop to flirt? Not a chance.

–Tom Riley

Bear in the Woods

Bear in the Woods

It’s the unseen
bear that makes these woods
an enchanted place.

–Tom Riley