Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Month: December, 2018

Necessary Chore

Necessary Chore

My New Year’s resolutions, meant for breaking,
Are nonetheless a necessary chore.
Mortality within my heart is aching.
My New Year’s resolutions, meant for breaking,
Point to a future. Oh, there’s no mistaking:
I know the patient void will win this war.
My New Year’s resolutions, meant for breaking,
Are nonetheless a necessary chore.

–Tom Riley

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Shea and Company

Shea and Company

Mark Shea is going to crush me – with his pals.
They’re going to gas me in the human pound.
He and a bunch of geeks who dress like gals
Are making one united warlike sound.
With victory their efforts will be crowned.
Afterwards, they’ll pair off and sixty-nine
To celebrate. I cannot say I’ve found
A way to nullify their fierce design.
Oh, what a load of hopelessness is mine!
Shea and his LGBTQ elite
Will scratch out both my eyes and break my spine.
Their righteous leftist fury can’t be beat.
Not one of my persuasion will be spared.
Shea’s made a solemn vow. I’m really scared.

–Tom Riley

(Planned Parenthood ally and dog hater Mark Shea will crush us.)

Waiting in Place

Waiting in Place

He waited in his place to be discovered.
Eventually, explorers found his bones.
The steady harpies of duration hovered.
He waited in his place to be discovered.
He was a fortune hidden in a cupboard.
He was a bag of pointless precious stones.
He waited in his place to be discovered.
Eventually, explorers found his bones.

–Tom Riley

Still Not Gay

Still Not Gay

Shea’s not gay. Those accounts are all spurious—
And they’re making our hero plain furious.
Buddy, watch what you say!
Shea insists he’s not gay.
Shea’s not gay – just a little bit curious.

–Tom Riley

Honorable Alexandria

The Honorable Alexandria

Congresswoman: I’ll put it in ink.
I adore the sweet way you can slink
And your radiant skin.
Party time? Count me in.
But, girl, please don’t pretend you can think!

–Tom Riley

Persistent Smile

Persistent Smile

It’s clear that Justice Roberts is maturing.
It’s been clear for a long and painful while—
But nonetheless I summon up a smile
At what America has been enduring
As shameless statists juggle, thus ensuring
Destruction. History, I like your style!
The lofty rule in favor of the vile.
The ailment of the nation knows no curing.
Trump tried – but in, at most, a generation
We’ll crumble in the Venezuelan way.
It’ll be clear that we are not a nation.
Invaders, buddy, will be here to stay.
I smile because I know there’s compensation:
In Dante’s Hell, chief justices will pay.

–Tom Riley

Old World Order

Old World Order

Mattis out. Am I having a fit?
Well, he was a tough guy. He had grit.
Nonetheless, I’m content
With both cause and event.
I can’t stomach that globalist shit.

–Tom Riley

Collision Course

Collision Course

Trump and Brennan – yea, once more! – collide.
Brennan’s righteous, and Trump cannot hide.
They’ll continue, these wars.
Guys collide at their cores.
Trump? He wins. Brennan fucks up with pride.

–Tom Riley

Man of Principle

Man of Principle

Man of principle, always on track,
John McCain wouldn’t yield, wouldn’t crack.
What a wonderful man!
Always stuck to the plan.
Always stabbed voters right in the back.

–Tom Riley

Triple Bagger

Triple Bagger

Chelsea speaks – and of course your soul sags.
Her mouth hastens. Alas, her brain lags
And remains out of touch!
Plus, it doesn’t help much
That her face requires three or more bags.

–Tom Riley