Elder Phillips beats drum in kid’s face
While invading his personal space.
Hey, this act isn’t vile!
Instead, curse the kid’s smile!
That expression is what’s a disgrace.
Blacks are Hebrews, and Hebrews are blacks!
Bible chosen done fell through the cracks!
They recover lost joys
By insulting white boys!
(That’s a real set of alternate facts.)
(“Black Hebrew Israelites” started confrontation with Covington Catholic kids.)
Covington kids did not insult you, Nate—
So I am here to do exactly that.
I could just hurl the vile curse “Democrat”—
A name that God and all his angels hate.
But that would be too merciful a fate
For such as you, a vulgar, lying rat
With Gollum’s scraggly hair and brain of gnat.
It is my duty to elaborate.
Crazy Horse is a figure I’ve admired
For many years. No spiritual runt,
He built the great alliance and aspired
To glory. He fought fiercely and in front
Of all the warriors he had inspired.
You? You harassed a schoolboy. What a cunt!
(Crazy Horse, first named Light Hair, a real indigenous leader.)
Catholic parents, pay heed to my rhyme:
U.S. bishops are typically slime,
Like the pope they adore.
As you’ve all seen before,
They will sell out your kids every time.
(Bishops of Covington, Lexington betray Catholic schoolboys.)
“Hell is others.” So Jean Paul declared—
Not the pope, but the writer who spared
Sacred cows not at all.
Now his dictum stands tall—
For you’re here, and I’ve almost despaired.
Has Chris Evans called out Lindsey Graham?
Wow! Cap’s proving that he gives a damn!
Cap, you’re making us ill.
You’re a mere showgirl still
And as pundit an obvious sham.
Ali, baby, you triumph in tweets.
Other Twitter types suffer defeats.
(Well, not Trump, it is true.)
I do not follow you—
Though I might if you showed us your sweets.
“Why just shave your face? Branch out, my pet!
Shave your body! Feel feminine yet!
You’ll adjust. Yes, you will!
You will find it a thrill!”
That’s the angle now played by Gillette.