Not You?
I heard that someone died – and it was you.
I’m sorry now to see the news was wrong.
I’ve dealt with disappointments – not a few.
I heard that someone died – and it was you.
I filled with hope on that engaging cue.
Thus is my current disappointment strong.
I heard that someone died – and it was you.
I’m sorry now to see the news was wrong.
–Tom Riley
The Never-Ending Memoir
He’s up early, pursuing his goal
Of expressing the depths of his soul
In a memoir unceasing—
Or, well, ever increasing.
With his readers I briefly condole.
–Tom Riley
Response to “Racism”
Say one thing they don’t like – and you’re gone!
They will shriek that you’re racist from dawn
Until midnight at least.
As response, you foul beast,
Mr. Woods recommends #yawn.
–Tom Riley
Got Him Off
Why did Michelle Obama get him off?
Because of how he thrills “her” secret part!
That’s how a “lady” always acts. Cough, cough.
Why did Michelle Obama get him off?
Why, simple gratitude! No need to scoff:
His oral service comes straight from the heart.
Why did Michelle Obama get him off?
Because of how he thrills “her” secret part!
–Tom Riley
(Charges dropped against hate hoaxer Jussie Smollett.)
Thin Blue Broken Line
Jussie pulled off one hell of a hoax—
And, because he knows all the right folks,
He is not going to pay.
That’s the Democrat way.
Cops, of course, are the butts of his jokes.
–Tom Riley
(Charges dropped against hate hoaxer Jussie Smollett.)
If This Goes On…
Mueller’s done. Says Trump didn’t collude.
Is this coup slated then to conclude?
Not at all, dudes and chicks!
Democrats have new tricks
Quite as ugly as Hillary nude.
–Tom Riley
Bearding Lady
You’re the senator’s beard. “Hey, fuck you!
I’m in love with that queer, through and through!
Plus, he isn’t a queer!
I deny all right here!”
That is just what a beard needs to do.
–Tom Riley
(Rosario Dawson denies beard status.)
Hair Shirt
I cheated just a little bit at Lent.
My hair shirt featured artificial hair.
What’s the cause of angelic discontent?
I cheated just a little bit at Lent.
To discipline it’s easy to consent.
But follow through? At times the strength’s not there!
I cheated just a little bit at Lent.
My hair shirt featured artificial hair.
–Tom Riley
Loose Tongue
Diagnosis from Conway: Trump’s nuts!
George agrees with the CNN sluts
Who have long said the same.
Plus, he earns heaps of fame
By French-kissing those media butts.
–Tom Riley
Going Stoic
I am older than you when you died,
O Wise Marcus! Go Stoic? I’ve tried.
From opinion I’d strain
Every day to refrain.
Every night I was unsatisfied.
–Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 