Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Month: July, 2019

Overtures of Friendship

Overtures of Friendship


“Hey, there, guy!  I sure feel that we’re bros!”

Said Joe Biden.  “Our new friendship grows.

No, I’m not being flip.

We’re attached at the hip.

I just picked your wife’s hair from my nose….”


–Tom Riley



St. Robert of Swampland

St. Robert of Swampland


Robert Mueller’s a saint!  He’s still cool!

Don’t you dare say that he proved a fool!

He was sober and grave—

And his relics we’ll save:

Rags we’ve soaked in his puddles of drool.


–Tom Riley

Chief Qualification

Chief Qualification


Swampsters opted for Mueller.  But why?

Stated reasons were all one big lie:

He was pretty much dead.

What a great figurehead!

His senility made him the guy.


–Tom Riley

Here’s Why

Here’s Why


Somebody asked me why I rag on Shea.

After all, he’s an unimportant cunt,

Isn’t he?  I’m responding right up front:

Of course he is.  A leader?  Shea?  No way.

His preaching is a game he’s learned to play.

His heart is vacuous.  His wits are blunt.

His prose is backside gas, his verse a grunt.

He has no real commitments to betray.

That’s why he’s so supremely emblematic

Of his whole mouthy, self-promoting class.

A butterball with feces in the attic,

A prissy punk whose every crack proves crass,

He calls forth a reaction that’s emphatic.

It truly is a joy to kick his ass.


–Tom Riley




Now we know:

Mueller was leaking in more

ways than one.


–Tom Riley

Why He Won’t Be Charged

Why He Won’t Be Charged


Revised answers he blithely invented?

Tortured lapses that left discontented

Both his allies and foes?

We can’t blame him for those.

It is clear the poor loser’s demented.


–Tom Riley

Regular Sherlock Holmes

A Regular Sherlock Holmes


“As a sleuth, he’s the best.  Ain’t no fooling

Robert Mueller!  And every court ruling

Will be going his way!”

That’s what punks used to say.

Then their hero showed up, vaguely drooling.


–Tom Riley

Confidence Man


Confidence Man


Mike Thornton – our moronic leftist troll—

Predicts with confidence a Biden win.

Stupidity of this sort is a sin,

Especially when poll on silly poll

Is trotted out as proof that such a goal

Will be achieved.  Dear Mike:  that’s simply spin.

You laugh your ass off now, but Trump will grin

As Biden is assigned the loser’s role.

We’ve seen it all before.  But don’t repent!

Instead, we’re begging you to double down.

With Biden’s foolishness we’re not content.

We all agree we need another clown

To make us merry after the event.

We shall award a dunce cap as your crown.


–Tom Riley






Why does the leftist agonize and fret?

Why is his judgment gone to regions far

As any unseen trans-galactic star?

Why are the facts evading every net

He casts aloft, determined still to get

Some startling evidence?  Lad:  no cigar!

Though it’s a lush green course, you’re over par

By quite a bit.  Yet still you don’t regret

The turn you took, the path you chose and trod,

The many times you’ve smooched the Devil’s rump

While cursing first your natal church, then God.

The blow-up doll that you embrace and hump—

Why, even she’s decided that you’re odd!

It’s not your fault, of course.  Hey, let’s blame Trump!


–Tom Riley




Shea has fans, and they think that he’s tops.

Adulation from them never stops.

Though both body and mind

Are to dull earth confined,

They pretend he has some sort of hops.


–Tom Riley