Mueller and Biden at the Home
“Looks,” says Joe, “like you need some help there,
My friend Bob. I advise – for I care.
Though you be a forgetter,
Your poor brain will work better
If you sniff the appropriate hair.”
–Tom Riley
Good Old Uncle Bob
The critique of Bob Mueller descends
To the gutter – and deeply offends.
It is way out of line!
Uncle Bob did just fine—
For he didn’t quite soil his Depends.
–Tom Riley
Bye-Bye
Did he lead us for numerous years?
When he leaves us, do we drown in tears?
No. We’re still standing tall.
We lose nothing at all
When that fat, mouthy fraud disappears.
–Tom Riley
(Dog-hater and notorious glutton Mark Shea leaves pro-life movement.)
In All Righteousness
A superior Christian named Shea,
In all righteousness having his say,
Is reproving the rest.
They have all failed his test.
That’s the shit that he spews, anyway.
–Tom Riley
Love Bombs
Against the racist fiends of Germany
Did Shea’s heroic daddy bravely fight—
Or, well, he loaded bombs heroically.
Bombers, equipped, would set foul Deutschland right.
Bombers would make those racists see the light
And finally embrace both blacks and Jews.
These love bombs were delivered via flight.
Mark Shea’s dad made it possible. That’s news!
A segregated army? Don’t accuse!
Southern types helped the effort? Don’t defend!
The point is that the Nazis had to lose
So that Mark Shea, in our time, could pretend
He signed Emancipation Proclamations
In all the unenlightened Axis nations.
–Tom Riley
Unparalleled Loss
In a deep chair, he’s gathering moss.
He dips donuts in thick chocolate sauce.
Social media shit
Absorbs all of his wit.
Can the movement survive such a loss?
–Tom Riley
(Dog-hater and notorious glutton Mark Shea leaves pro-life movement.)
Dastardly Do-Wrong
“All your choices we’ve carefully named—
And your spirit we’ve thoroughly tamed.
Now our challenge we fling:
Dare to do the right thing!”
“I shall make the wrong choice!” he exclaimed.
–Tom Riley
Big Finish
“Ha! Can’t you ever finish what you start?”
I’m starting to resent the me that started
Testing how strong I was – and, yes, how smart.
“Ha! Can’t you ever finish what you start?”
Is finishing a science or an art?
Is it a challenge for the iron-hearted?
“Ha! Can’t you ever finish what you start?”
I’m starting to resent the me that started.
–Tom Riley
Penned
Instead of “wrote,” our hero scribbles “penned.”
Oh, what a wild romantic he must be!
With such a thrilling impulse, why contend?
Instead of “wrote,” our hero scribbles “penned”!
Vocabulary struggles to transcend.
Embracing trivial variety,
Instead of “wrote,” our hero scribbles “penned”!
Oh, what a wild romantic he must be!
–Tom Riley
What a Pro Does
“Hey, don’t mock me! I’m hurting inside!”
So he said when my comments grew snide.
What a pitiful clown!
Me, I just doubled down—
And I laughed when he visibly cried.
–Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 