Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Month: September, 2019

Joe Biden Is Innocent of All Charges

Joe Biden Is Innocent of All Charges


“That was statesmanship, kid, not a scam!

I was proving that I give a damn,

Not just helping my son!

Blame?  I truly bear none—

For I never quite know where I am….”


–Tom Riley



Pretty Little Swedish Girl

Pretty Little Swedish Girl


Greta isn’t a globalist dupe—

As her critics contend.  Join her troop—

And how noble you’ll feel!

You fool!  Greta is real—

And she’ll presently vomit pea soup.


–Tom Riley



What to Say

What to Say


Biden now tells reporters what to say

And most of them are happy to comply.

Don’t ask improper questions!  Just obey!

Biden now tells reporters.  What to say

In response to such arrogance today?

Hey, kids, that’s up to Joe – a lovely guy!

Biden now tells reporters what to say,

And most of them are happy to comply.


–Tom Riley

Problem-Solving Ability

Problem-Solving Ability


You object to the story in vain.

Biden had to resort to a chain!

Though to peace all aspire,

Circumstances were dire.

Plus, Joe never had much of a brain.


–Tom Riley

Joe Biden Chains Negroes

Joe Biden Chains Negroes


“With his chain, Biden won some respect

From the gang leader Corn Pop, correct?

Story’s true.  Ain’t no lie.

Joe’s a really tough guy!”

Is that irony, sir, I detect?


–Tom Riley



Sound of the Man Working on the Chain Gang

The Sound of the Man Working on the Chain Gang


How do you make a black friend?  Bring a chain!

Joe Biden did, and everything worked out

Just fine.  So that’s a rule we must maintain:

How do you make a black friend?  Bring a chain.

Joe’s threats against that Corn Pop guy – a pain

Right in Joe’s ass! – succeeded.  Do you doubt?

How do you make a black friend?  Bring a chain!

Joe Biden did – and everything worked out!


–Tom Riley




(Biden story recommends chains and threats as best way of dealing with black guys.)

Attractions of Mrs. Warren

The Attractions of Mrs. Warren


Is Elizabeth gorgeous?  Well, no.

Is she clever?  I wouldn’t say so.

But we cannot ignore her.

She has this going for her:

She is not (thank the Lord!) Creepy Joe.


–Tom Riley



Heroic Figures

Heroic Figures


Shea’s heroic, they say, to a fault.

He embraces the hero gestalt.

He is Superman squared:

Super-fat, super-haired.

And his sidekick is Scott Eric Alt.


–Tom Riley

Puppy Love

Puppy Love


Has Shea learned to love dogs?  Not quite yet.

He still wants them destroyed.  No regret.

You like dogs.  Shea does not.

His tastes differ – a lot.

He keeps Scott Eric Alt as his pet.


–Tom Riley



Junior Partner

Junior Partner


Praising Shea:  Mr. Alt just won’t stop.

He’s a don’t-diss-Mark-Shea comment cop!

Such deep friendship is rare.

Oh, yes:  they’re quite a pair!

But remember:  Shea’s always on top.


–Tom Riley