Monster Convention

Monster Convention

 
To the Monster Convention you go!
It ain’t what you are, kid. Whom you know
Is more monstrous by far.
Oh, what monsters they are,
Your new pals! It’s beginning to show.

 
–Tom Riley

 

Full Plate

Full Plate

 
At the Countess’s
Banquet, plates are full – but
Full of spiders.

 
–Tom Riley

 

Supper with the Count

Supper with the Count

 
I’m having supper with the Count tonight.
Like me, he only goes for liquid fare.
He claims he doesn’t sup, but that’s not right.
I’m having supper with the Count tonight.
The looming moon has promised subtle light.
I have a bottle – and won’t need to share.
I’m having supper with the Count tonight.
Like me, he only goes for liquid fare.

 
–Tom Riley

 

McRaven

The McRaven

 

 
“Will it come to an end – endless war?
Will untroubled peace rack up the score
That we longed for indeed?
Will the bright heavens heed?”
Quoth McRaven: “No way! Nevermore!”

 

 
–Tom Riley

Into the Tiber

Into the Tiber

 

 
Into the Tiber, Christians, with this crap!
The Tiber may indeed just belch it out.
Bergoglio’s cuddling idols in his lap?
Into the Tiber, Christians, with this crap!
The Lord is not delighting in a nap.
His rest will end. Of that please have no doubt.
Into the Tiber, Christians, with this crap!
The Tiber may indeed just belch it out.

 

 
–Tom Riley

 

 

 

 

Pierre Delecto

Pierre Delecto

 

 
Account hidden! Ah, what could be sweeter
For Mitt Romney, an overaged tweeter?
From himself there’s support
In his own private court.
He finds endless delight in his peter.

 

 
–Tom Riley

Clandestine Cleverness

Clandestine Cleverness

 

 
Since Trump has failed to go away,
We need a Gallic superspy:
Pierre Delecto has his say!

He’s LDS but slightly gay.
His suave assurance none deny.
Since Trump has failed to go away,

The Left is seized with sheer dismay.
Hey, folks, there ain’t no need to cry!
Pierre Delecto has his say

On your behalf! The games he’ll play
Are limitless. He isn’t shy.
Since Trump has failed to go away,

Our hero hastens to the fray!
On this persona please rely:
Pierre Delecto has his say!

The fictional don’t need to pay
Taxes upon their piece of pie.
Since Trump has failed to go away,
Pierre Delecto has his say!

 

 
–Tom Riley

 

 

 

(Mitt Romney transitions into Pierre Delecto.)

Unthinkable

Unthinkable

 
Trump’s a guy that McRaven abhors.
Condemnation? McRaven’s vast stores
Will be spent – all on Trump.
Trump’s a clown and a chump—
For he doesn’t embrace endless wars!

 
–Tom Riley

 

 

 

Consistent Pro-Life Ethic

Consistent Pro-Life Ethic

 
The soulless fraud that calls itself Mark Shea
Now offers a predictable defense
Of baby-killer Bernie. What the hey!
He’s Jewish! So it makes a lot of sense
For him to think the unrestrained expense
Of fetal human blood a thing so slight
That giggles are in order. Malcontents
Complain – but, for a Jew, that view’s all right!
Shea wishes rigid trads would see the light
And show respect for Bernie’s wise tradition.
Descend, freaks, from your self-appointed height!
Life in the womb is not the sacred mission
That you pretend! We’ve had enough of that!
Support the welfare state! Vote Democrat!

 
–Tom Riley

 

(Dog-hater and notorious glutton Mark Shea defends Bernie Sanders’ abortion advocacy.)

Hotline

Hotline

 
Your hotline from the pale Lord of the Dead
Is ringing. It’s your first and final call.
You wish it were a gorgeous gal instead?
Your hotline from the pale Lord of the Dead
Will not consult your preferences, I’ve read.
You must receive the message sent to all.
Your hotline from the pale Lord of the Dead
Is ringing: it’s your first and final call.

 
–Tom Riley