A Lot of Ifs

by flammeusgladius

A Lot of Ifs

A lady told me that Mark Shea can write.
Oh, sure he can, I thought. If sentences
As loose as flab, as dense as foggy night,
As trivial as any online quiz
Are signs of writing skill; if vagueness is
The soul of wit; if prejudice is king;
If sheer blab is what makes the writing biz;
If ostriches, not songbirds, truly sing;
If spittle dropped at random packs the sting
Of satire from the hand of Juvenal;
If leaves the Sibyl hoards turn red in spring;
If Housman’s cherry tree blooms white in fall;
If shameless begging reaches lofty height—
Why, then, assuredly, Mark Shea can write!

–Tom Riley