Cornpoppery

by flammeusgladius

Cornpoppery

 

’Twas Biden – or demented Joe—
Who told this loony lifeguard tale.
He dealt with gangsta types, you know:
He couldn’t let his manhood fail.

“Beware the Roman gang, my lad—
Their razor blades, their tempers hot!
Beware that Corn Pop cat: he bad!
A man for slighting he is not!”

The leader, he defied a rule.
Joe couldn’t stand a rule defied.
“Hey, Esther Williams, that ain’t cool.”
Said Corn Pop: “We’ll see you outside!”

Joe asked: “How shall I deal with blacks?
I find the answer in my brain!
When faced with razor blade attacks,
It’s smart to bring a heavy chain!”

Confronted with the emblem of
A servile past, the thug backed down.
He and his homeys learned to love
Caucasian Joe from toe to crown.

“Have I now reestablished my
Imperative supremacy?
Oh, what a hairy-legged guy
I am indeed! Hurray for me!”

Dear Negroes: please don’t take offense
At Joe’s weird crap. Just laugh instead.
This tale contains no real events.
It only happened in Joe’s head.

 

–Tom Riley