Selling Point
Whom will Joe choose? Oh, which of these hoes
Will be vice-presidential – and Joe’s?
In suspense are we frozen.
If it’s Kamala chosen,
It’s because we all know that she blows.
–Tom Riley
(If you enjoyed this gentle joke about Creepy Joe, you’ll love The Ghost of Biden’s Brain!)
Perfect Candidate
Choose a gay, Joe, and you will stand tall.
Choose a woman, too. Tough? Not at all!
If you just stay on track,
You can also choose black.
Your best running mate, Joe, is RuPaul!
–Tom Riley
(If you enjoyed this friendly little dig at Bad Touch Biden, you’ll love The Ghost of Biden’s Brain!)
Acute Analysis
Your main point
seems to be that you
have no point.
–Tom Riley
Martial Valor
Fort Lee? Pentagon pussies are planning
To de-hero it, righteously banning
Names that spring from the mouth
With the smack of the South.
It’ll be renamed Fort Chelsea Manning.
–Tom Riley
Renewable Resource
COVID-19 is spreading everywhere,
But all Mark Shea can think about is money.
His big red face is overgrown with hair.
He thinks that he is scholarly and funny.
He thinks his every oral fart should earn
His weight in gold and gems and other treasure.
And that’s a lot of weight! The world must learn
To pay him for his arrogance past measure.
The really entertaining thing is this:
Some idiots are absolutely willing
To pucker up for such a costly kiss.
He makes a buck, though not his longed-for killing.
Few things are more incredible than that.
If only he could monetize his fat!
–Tom Riley
Unwise Blood
What? Did she say things activists today
Forbid? Another problem: she could write—
Unlike, say, Ta-Nehisi Coates. The sight
Of crafted prose, that deftly-chiseled way
With words: it makes lame wokesters want to flay
An author till the author screams. Their spite
Knows no restraint. Hard truth is brought to light—
And idiots see darkness on display.
Therefore, she’ll be erased. Her books must burn.
Post mortem, such a gal must have such luck.
If once our culture commissars discern
A deviation, then you’re toast. Don’t buck
The trend! Another lesson we can learn:
The Jesuits interminably suck.
–Tom Riley
(Loyola University cancels Flannery O’Connor.)
Keeping Him Honest
Buying Hunter, the Chicoms bought Joe—
Although Joe’s too demented to know
Who his masters are now.
He still hails Chairman Mao!
He has handlers to manage him, though.
–Tom Riley
(If you enjoyed this friendly commentary on Joe and Hunter Biden, you’ll love The Ghost of Biden’s Brain!)
Against Interference
“Don’t let Russia again interfere!”
Says Rick Wilson. “Oh, hold freedom dear!
Mr. Putin is shit!
We can only permit
Chicom agents like me and George here!”
–Tom Riley
Anything for the Cause
Rick makes damaging ads against Trump.
He’s no Orange Man’s uncritical chump.
And what heights he’s achieving!
For the coin he’s receiving
He’d accept Chicom cock up his rump.
–Tom Riley
Subs Need Their Doms
Rick and George, in the men’s room, hold hands—
But they don’t 69. No, their plans
Have been altered. Their lips
And their well-padded hips
Are reserved now for Chicom demands.
–Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 