Why Ask Why?
Why does Mark Shea prefer his cuties young?
Why does he get excited when his skull
Fills up with little girls who – wonderful!—
Behave like skinny strippers? There among
Such images, he trembles – and his tongue,
Like Jabba’s tongue, extends as if to pull
A slender victim in, if possible.
Why does he hum this song that can’t be sung?
Might as well wonder why his buddy Steve
Greydanus feels within a deep demand
For films where man screws boy. What mind can heave
Such burdens up? What dramatist has planned
These complications no one would believe?
Sometimes it’s better not to understand.
Lard-Ass Lap Dance
Against wild right-wing crazies, balanced Shea
Defends Netflix – plus child pornography.
Puritans in the loony GOP
Will bow to his supremacy today.
Cuties of course is more than A-okay:
It’s necessary viewing finally,
Expanding our horizons. Hey, let’s be
More tolerant of pre-pubescent play!
Clearly Shea is a ginger Santa Claus—
A cheery Father Christmas kind of chap
In Pseudo-Chestertonia. His laws
Are not lean laws. His mind evades the trap
Of moralistic judgment. Why? Because
He dreams of cuties squirming in his lap.
(Planned Parenthood ally Mark Shea sticks up for Cuties.)
Biden will not debate, people. There:
That’s my call – for the few who may care.
Debate will not begin—
Though Joe could be lured in
With a whiff of Melania’s hair.
Justice Ginsburg succumbed. She is dead.
And I would have told Death, “Go ahead,”
Had he needed me to.
But I wish, it is true,
That Death could have struck Roberts instead.
Ruthie died. In their eighties, folks do.
Those evading this standard are few.
By mortality clocked,
She is gone. Are you shocked?
Then at last you should go get a clue.
Bad Feeling about This
He ought to
feel bad about feeling so
good about himself.