Heavy Drinker
Colbert just wants to drink Obama in.
Does Jimmy Mattis long to do the same?
To that crew, oral sex is not a sin.
Colbert just wants to drink Obama in.
Who will watch as festivities begin?
Who will enjoy this sad, submissive game?
Colbert just wants to drink Obama in.
Does Jimmy Mattis long to do the same?
–Tom Riley
Palmistry
Devout Joe quotes the Palmist quite a bit.
Republicans should have respect for that
And not dismiss him as a brain-dead twit.
Devout Joe quotes the Palmist quite a bit.
He manifests his piety and wit.
Don’t let his exhortation here fall flat!
Devout Joe quotes the Palmist quite a bit.
Republicans should have respect for that.
–Tom Riley
(In Thanksgiving address, Biden pronounces “Psalmist” as “Palmist.”)
Jealous as a Bastard
(for Stollers)
Timothy Stoll’s got new stuff, citizen.
Like all the rest of us, you must admit
You’re jealous as a bastard once again.
You can’t resist this forceful mandate when
Your fate is in his fortune duly writ:
Timothy Stoll’s got new stuff, citizen.
Through Shaolin meditation (much like Zen),
He draws great stuff to where he deigns to sit.
You’re jealous as a bastard once again,
Aren’t you? Sure: breathing deeply, count to ten:
You’ll still be netted in a jealous fit.
Timothy Stoll’s got new stuff! Citizen:
Lower than Stoll is where you’ve always been
Upon the totem pole. And now, you twit,
You’re jealous as a bastard once again!
Grinning with pride, he makes you shout amen
To his whole list of first-rate, bad-ass shit.
Timothy Stoll’s got new stuff, citizen!
You’re jealous as a bastard once again.
–Tom Riley
Trackin’ the Kraken
Hath the Kraken at last been released?
On its foes will it presently feast?
An attorney I’m not,
So I can’t say a lot.
But I sure wish good luck to the beast.
–Tom Riley
Go with the Professional
Mr. Christie is just fine with Joe.
Yea, he offers that worthy a blow
In the John McCain way.
Creepy Joe answers: “Nay!
I’ve got Kamala working below!”
–Tom Riley
Mortal Judgment
Sometimes, of course, it is for me to judge.
Fox News will shortly go the way of Drudge.
–Tom Riley
General Jimmy Speaks Again
General Jimmy Mattis wants to say
America should not be listed first.
General Jimmy hates the Trumpster’s way.
It makes him so damn mad that he could burst!
Of all known foreign policies, the worst
Is making this damn country number one.
Uphold such sovereignty and you’re accursed
In Jimmy’s Great Big Book of Warlike Fun!
Instead, let every mother send her son
(And daughter too, though Jimmy doesn’t care
For any female of the species, hon!)
To foreign lands for wounds beyond repair!
In argument on this point, Trump’s outclassed:
Jimmy’s long placed America dead last.
–Tom Riley
Dominion
Your votes don’t matter. Not one little bit.
Why, look: Dominion gives us all the votes
That we require! Cease with indignant shit!
Your votes don’t matter – not one little bit.
We in the seat of counting duly sit
And stone your votes. The networks hold our coats.
Your votes don’t matter. Not one little bit!
Why, look! Dominion gives us all the votes….
–Tom Riley
Popular Culture
Saw an angel
fall from Heaven – listening to
the latest hits.
–Tom Riley
On the Up and Up
Did Joe pull ahead fairly? Damn right!
Why won’t you MAGA freaks see the light?
I defend Joe sincerely.
For a Democrat, clearly,
New votes always appear overnight.
–Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 