Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Month: December, 2020

Chairman’s Pet

Chairman’s Pet

 

“For Americans, no jobs!” says Xi.
“Their decline we are eager to see.
Into debt they’ll be sinking.
Who’ll enforce Chicom thinking?”
“Oh, pick me!” Biden answers. “Pick me!”

 

–Tom Riley

 

https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fs.abcnews.com%2Fimages%2FPolitics%2Fjoe-biden-munich-security-conference-gty-jc-190219_hpMain_16x9_992.jpg&f=1&nofb=1

What a Mess!

What a Mess!

 

Don’t kid yourself. Creation leaves a mess
As bad as evolution ever could.
Does the Divine take pride in chaos? Yes.
Don’t kid yourself: creation leaves a mess!
Its advocates are soon forced to confess
That order is at best a fleeting good.
Don’t kid yourself: creation leaves a mess
As bad as evolution ever could!

 

–Tom Riley

 

Gavin’s Latest Move

Gavin’s Latest Move

 

Even back at
the French Laundry, he was
planning this lockdown.

 

–Tom Riley

 

BUSTED! San Fran Mayor Had Her Own French Laundry Party with Socialite - the Night After Newsom ...

Defection Direction

Defection Direction

 

Stephen Schmidt has turned Democrat? Well,
He was trending that way, we could tell,
Since he lied for McCain.
The news causes no pain.
We Republicans think that it’s swell.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Steve Schmidt smiling for the camera: Longtime GOP strategist Steve Schmidt announces he's registering Democrat

Under Pressure

Under Pressure

 

Biden just paid off Little Gay Pete.
But the payoffs are far from complete.
He still owes AOC
And of course Chairman Xi.
If he’s conscious, he’s feeling the heat.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Think It Looks Bad for Mainstream Democrats Now? Just Wait.

(Bad Touch Biden names Pete Buttigieg as transportation secretary.  Not shown:  mistletoe.)

Pride in Achievement

Pride in Achievement

 

The Manchurian candidate Joe:
Where he is he does not really know.
He is empty – though loud.
Do you think that he’s proud
Chairman Xi hired him on as a hoe?

 

–Tom Riley

 

Joe Biden on Xi Jinping's Iowa trip - POLITICO

This Is Not an Attack on Ethnic Norwegians

This Is Not an Attack on Ethnic Norwegians

 

Even after a
dozen baths, the Norway rat
still looks filthy.

 

–Tom Riley

 

Rattus norvegicus -Fairlands Valley Park, Stevenage, England-8.jpg

Security Conscious

Security Conscious

 

“Hey, Eric: did you fuck her as she spied?
Did she pretend to love your smarminess?”
Said Swalwell with a smile: “That’s classified.”

“She handled you. It cannot be denied.
The question’s where. Please boast – or else confess.
Hey, Eric! Did you fuck her as she spied?

Or was your needle dick a sight to hide?
Silence implies that you are saying yes.”
Said Swalwell with a smile: “That’s classified.”

“If you did, what a satisfying ride!
You’d have enjoyed it more, she somewhat less.
Hey, Eric, did you fuck her as she spied?

Were you aware it wasn’t you she eyed
As prize? And did she fake a sweet caress?”
Said Swalwell with a smile: “That’s classified.

Deep in my heart those secrets must abide.
If I reveal such stuff, oh, what a mess!”
“Hey, Eric, did you fuck her as she spied?”
Said Swalwell with a smile: “That’s classified.”

 

–Tom Riley

 

Image

 

(Swalwell says sex with Chinese spy was classified.)

Causa Spes

Causa Spes

 

If we must have a communist pope,
Then in dullness we find our true hope.
Were he clever at all,
Aspiration would stall—
But the Commies put in a real dope.

 

–Tom Riley

 

At audience, pope asks forgiveness for scandals in Rome, Vatican | CNS top stories

Big Medal

Big Medal

 

Christine Fang deserve big medal, Xi!
Politburo will have to agree.
She took one for red team.
Sacrifice was extreme.
Eric Swalwell? Oh, fuck! Golly gee!

 

–Tom Riley