Joe Catholic

by flammeusgladius

Joe Catholic


Et oratio eius fiat in peccatum.


Pretending Joe’s a super-Catholic guy
Is just about as silly as can be—
Too damn implausible to be a lie,
More a great scrap of imbecility.
Of course Joe likes to show his rosary.
Of course he likes to preen at morning Mass
For all the heathen media to see.
Of course the Jesuits will kiss his ass.
All flesh is, as the Bible tells us, grass—
And Joe’s scant flesh is overdue for mowing.
Still, what’s the focus of his fading sass?
The baby-killing party that he’s throwing!
His soul’s a writhing worm, his prayer a crock,
His place beneath a small infernal rock.


–Tom Riley


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(N.B. The hateful form of child sacrifice now denoted by the euphemism “induced abortion” is a crime offensive to the common decency of the human race, not just to the moral theology of the Catholic Church. All men and women of good will should oppose it. Bad Touch Biden and other putative Catholics who support this abomination are especially culpable only because they have been given such a clear and rational teaching by their religious authorities and therefore cannot plead ignorance. Arguably, they are guilty of betrayal as well as of violence – and will find their appropriate place in the ninth and lowest circle of Hell. However, I couldn’t bear to grant Creepy Joe the same dignity extended to Marcus Brutus. So I shoved his invertebrate psychic ass under a rock. May it rot there! TR.)