Subtler Joke
“I got your stupid joke and almost puked!”
A subtler joke was hidden deep within.
I had a subtle problem to depict.
“I got your stupid joke — and almost puked
My guts up!” Well, your threats are action-packed.
If puking were the object, you might win.
“I got your stupid joke and almost puked!”
A subtler joke was hidden deep within.
–Tom Riley
Envy Exalted
Achilles and Odysseus they hated.
Therefore it’s no surprise they can’t stand Lee
Or Stonewall Jackson. Let the truth be stated:
Achilles and Odysseus they hated
Because the weak are woke, the addlepated
Inclined toward deep resentment constantly.
Achilles and Odysseus they hated.
Therefore, it’s no surprise they can’t stand Lee.
–Tom Riley
Vast and Unhappy
I listen to your vast, unhappy news.
It’s what your species always have to say.
Though it’s a wise decision to refuse,
I listen to your vast, unhappy news.
The universe you can’t help but accuse
Declines to listen as you rant away.
I listen to your vast, unhappy news.
It’s what your species always has to say.
–Tom Riley
Big Woke Biden Army
(Sung to the tune of “Big Rock Candy Mountains”)
All the bases have great names:
They are named for noble pederasts
And for dudes who dress as dames.
No, there will not be
Any damn Fort Lee.
They push intersectionality
In response to bygone slavery
In the Big Woke Biden Army.
2. In the Big Woke Biden Army,
You’ll be trained but not for war.
They will alter all of your beliefs
Till you think just like a whore.
You’ll surrender all your macho ways
When surrounded by expressive gays.
Their identities you will learn to praise,
And you’ll never use an insulting phrase
In the Big Woke Biden Army.
3. In the Big Woke Biden Army,
You won’t ever have to fight—
For the Pentagon of Equality
Has at long last seen the light.
You should have no fear
If you’re trans or queer.
They won’t make you get your butt in gear.
The demands of combat ain’t their sphere
In the Big Woke Biden Army.
–Tom Riley
Airborne
“You’re obsessed, lad, with trivial things—
Not the doings of armies or kings,
Not the thoughts of the masters,
Not tremendous disasters….”
“Even gnats,” I responded, “have wings.”
–Tom Riley
Songs of Uplift
Peace on earth you expected. You’d sing
Songs of uplift – and cheerfully bring
To the meeting your dues:
Loads of positive views!
You expected the wrong fucking thing.
–Tom Riley
Sicker
“Beyond logic, I reach for new skies!
In my own way, I dare to be wise!”
So he thought. So he said—
And I drew back in dread.
Sometimes feelings are sicker than lies.
–Tom Riley
A Negative Thinker Evaluates a Positive Good
Have you found
shoes to fit you? You
have conformist feet!
–Tom Riley
Redemption
By Dad’s office is Hunter redeemed,
Though on many a minor he’s creamed
While ingesting cocaine.
Make him pay? You’re insane!
Down on him Daddy’s visage hath beamed!
–Tom Riley
The Preaching Dead
General Corpse imagines he can live
Again – if Old Marse Robert dies again.
Vitality is porous as a sieve.
General Corpse imagines he can live
Anew – if in a crude way he can give
The mindless crowd a chance to say amen.
General Corpse imagines he can live
Again! (If Old Marse Robert dies again….)
–Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 