If Only

by flammeusgladius

If Only

If only Grant had used transgender troops,
He would have beaten Lee a whole lot quicker.
He would have pummeled all those rebel poops!
If only Grant had used transgender troops,
Though stumbling in impressive high heels – oops!—
He could have made the weary South much sicker.
If only Grant had used transgender troops,
He would have beaten Lee a whole lot quicker!

–Tom Riley