Some of His Best Friends
by flammeusgladius
Some of His Best Friends
(Bergoglio professes to meet with victims once a week.)
Pope Francis, saint before he even kicks
The papal bucket, suffers vile attacks.
Some commentators say that he is lax
In shielding kids from pederastic tricks.
The kind of media that always licks
His Petrine shoes now dares to make mean cracks.
“He never gives his pals the proper axe!”
These are assertions that he’s swift to nix.
How dare they doubt his perfect sanctity?
How dare they growl he needs to make amends
Not for the Church but for himself? He’ll see
That this campaign of accusation ends!
He’ll prove his probity conclusively!
Sex victims are among his closest friends.
–Tom Riley
Flammeus Gladius 