From the Stoa

by flammeusgladius

From the Stoa

Some idiot who claims that he’s a Stoic
Says that philosophy backs gays and trannies.
According to this bonehead, it’s heroic
For bearded lads to pinch each other’s fannies
And probe each other’s private nooks and crannies
With a view toward orgasmic satisfaction—
And also for old men to pose as grannies
In order to entice some backside action.
Actual Stoics never spent a fraction
Of any moment sunk in such perversion.
Still, liars rarely issue a retraction
After their factoids’ first absurd incursion.
It’s mine to mock false teachers of this class
And serve them clear correction – up the ass.

–Tom Riley