“I shall stand up to Putin – and Xi!”
Says Joe Biden – while taking a pee
Down his leg, long and hairy.
“Let those tyrants be wary!”
Both are laughing uproariously.
–Tom Riley
Operation Enduring Freedom
Interruptions, occurring all day,
Will bear all your free minutes away
By the hour. By the hour!
But it’s still in your power
To shrug briefly and mutter: “Okay.”
–Tom Riley
Not Very Nice
(for Mary Gundling)
Does Mrs. Gundling say I should be nice
To enemies of common decency?
That attitude, I’m sure, would be a vice.
I knock twerps down and kick them more than twice.
Perhaps those standing by might challenge me.
Does Mrs. Gundling say I should be nice?
Noch bleibe ich kaltblutig, veins like ice.
My iron nerves indeed cannot agree.
That attitude, I’m sure, would be a vice.
Like the God Julius, I’ve rolled the dice
And stepped beyond all vile uncertainty.
Does Mrs. Gundling say I should be nice
Instead? Warm, soft, and bloodless – like white rice?
Before the idols must I take a knee?
That attitude, I’m sure, would be a vice
For which I would be punished in a thrice.
Counsel instead those targeted to flee!
Does Mrs. Gundling say I should be nice?
That attitude, I’m sure, would be a vice.
–Tom Riley
Unused
Limbs I never
even knew I had are
now completely paralyzed.
–Tom Riley