Hot Bodies and Deficient Realism in Paramount’s “Yellowstone”

by flammeusgladius

Hot Bodies and Deficient Realism in Paramount’s “Yellowstone”

The would-be rapists you desired to burn—
Or, anyhow, your Native pals desired
To burn them. Why was easy to discern.
But, Kayce, you’re a Navy SEAL, well wired
For wisdom in these matters! Bodies fired,
Though doused with kerosene, are not reduced
To bones and ashes. Great heat is required
To give the dust within us such a boost.
Necessity, however, rules the roost
In TV Land. Incredibly, the scheme
Succeeded: bones and ashes were produced.
This was, of course, the logic of a dream.
Will I stop watching then? No, I will not.
Your sister and your wife are super hot.

–Tom Riley

Notes on the text:

Line 1: This is Season One, Episode Three: “No Good Horses.” I’ve just started watching the show– with the wife.
Line 3: Local aboriginals want to burn the bodies so that the souls can’t enter the afterlife.
Lines 5-8: My favorite account of the realistic demands of cremation occurs in Paul Barber’s “Vampires, Burial, and Death.”
Line 14: They sure are!