Ironic

Ironic

Am I being ironic? Who knows?
It is easy, of course, to suppose
I don’t mean what I say
In the usual way.
I keep even myself on my toes.

–Tom Riley

Color Vexillorum

Color Vexillorum

So many blue and yellow flags!
But which way’s up and which way’s down?
Zelensky fiercely begs and brags.
So many blue and yellow flags!
Soon we’ll instead behold white rags—
But that will not undo the clown.
So? Many blue and yellow flags?
But which way’s up? And which way’s down?

–Tom Riley

Sanctioners Sanctioned

Sanctioners Sanctioned

We are causing that Putin guy pain

With our sanctions – all due to Ukraine.

              Is he tough?  Not at all.

              We are making him crawl!

Still, the ruble ascends.  It’s insane!

–Tom Riley

Clever Metaphor

Clever Metaphor

“I net deep truth with clever metaphor!”
Such idiocy only makes me snore.

–Tom Riley

Demand Declined

Demand Declined

Your gods demanded sacrifice—
But I had better things to do,
And so I told them more than twice.
Your gods demanded sacrifice
In tones that sounded far from nice.
I swept my arm and answered: “Shoo!”
Your gods demanded sacrifice,
But I had better things to do.

–Tom Riley

Anticipation

Anticipation

Circling and circling
in the distance, is that
my fated vulture?

–Tom Riley

Papal Visit

Papal Visit

What’s that? A papal visit to Ukraine?
Hey, Jimmy Martin wants to come along!
From visiting the gay bars why refrain?

The pope and Jimmy needn’t wish in vain
For such relief: the urge is way too strong.
What’s that? A papal visit to Ukraine

Would bring broad smiles, alleviate much pain?
The pope declines to judge such judgment wrong.
From visiting the gay bars why refrain?

The boys of storied Kyiv will not disdain
A private party. Pope could rent a bong!
What’s that? A papal visit to Ukraine?

Crossdressers there just love to entertain!
The pope would gain the vigor of King Kong.
From visiting the gay bars why refrain?

Objections only come from the insane.
Moral theology? A boring song.
What’s that? A papal visit to Ukraine?
From visiting the gay bars why refrain?

–Tom Riley

Power Failure

Power Failure

They changed Joe Biden’s batteries today—
But still he doesn’t quite seem energized.
His sluggishness occasions deep dismay.
They changed Joe Biden’s batteries today?
So Jen Psaki hastens to convey.
The press corps is apparently surprised.
They changed Joe Biden’s batteries today.
But still, he doesn’t quite seem energized.

–Tom Riley

Fight for What’s Right

Fight for What’s Right

Mark Milley wants a lengthy tranny war
Against those Russian bigots in Ukraine.
He’s happy to be dressing as a whore,
Mark Milley. Wants a lengthy tranny war.
America must offer up its store
Of bodies. His falsetto far from vain,
Mark Milley wants a lengthy tranny war
Against those Russian bigots in Ukraine.

–Tom Riley

Sen. Graham Doubles Down

Sen. Graham Doubles Down

Lindsey’s sick of your Russian patoot,
Mr. Putin! Against you he’ll root!
Is he scared of you? Not!
But you need to be shot!
(What this means is, he thinks that you’re cute.)

–Tom Riley