Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Category: Uncategorized

Who Is Like unto God?

Who Is Like unto God?

 

His kids mistook him (Mark Shea says) for God.
That is an unbelievable mistake.
He looks a lot more like Gorilla Grodd,
Maybe a tad less hairy. As a flake,
He’s tops — and can blab on for blabbing’s sake,
It’s true, to an unparalleled degree.
At volubility he’s not a fake—
But that’s no God-like feature finally.
Still, I believe him. How could small tots see
The flaws in his impostor’s presentation?
A human soul requires maturity
To view Shea with the proper detestation.
His kids, when small, saw Shea as God. I’d say
Shea himself makes the same mistake today.

 

—Tom Riley

Outrage Abatement

Outrage Abatement

 

The Somali cop’s error was slight.
He did pretty much everything right.
After outrage abatement,
He deserves reinstatement.
After all, folks, the victim was white.

 

—Tom Riley

 

(Quota cop kills Aussie woman.)

Death of an Aussie Babe

Death of an Aussie Babe

 

It’s all cultural.
In Somalia, no doubt:
A righteous shooting.

 

—Tom Riley

 

(Quota cop kills Aussie woman.)

Call the Cops

Call the Cops

 

Tourist gals: go ahead, try your luck!
Call the cops if you have to. Their pluck
And devotion is great,
I in general state.
If the cop’s a Somali, though, duck!

 

—Tom Riley

 

(Quota cop kills Aussie woman.)

Another Brilliant Plan

Another Brilliant Plan

 

Obama had another brilliant plan:
Somali cops would make for great policing.
In innovation, boy, was he the man!
Obama had another brilliant plan.
A president does only what the can.
Obama’s influence is still unceasing.
Obama had another brilliant plan:
Somali cops would make for great policing!

 

—Tom Riley

 

(Quota cop kills Aussie woman.)

Long Goodbye

The Long Goodbye

 

(Warning! This sonnet contains spoilers, not all of them opaque….)

 

Let’s skip to resolutions, Marlowe fans:
There’s no room here for all that complication.
Eileen Wade is the murderess. Her hands
Are slick with blood. This stunning revelation
Should stun a little less — for preparation
Was made, I dare to say, quite carefully.
Once she’s found out, she opts for self-negation
In death. I guess it really had to be.
Mendy Menendez comes for Marlowe. Ohls,
A tough cop, whips that hapless gangster’s ass.
Marlowe and Mrs. Loring, kindred souls,
Go to bed: though they’re sinful, they have class.
Transcendent truth undoes unhappy lies.
Terry is still alive. Hey, big suprise.

 

—Tom Riley

Viking Beard

Viking Beard

 

Why does Shea need to grow a Viking beard?
He ain’t no master of the battle axe.
Along the Western Coast, there ain’t no fear
Of Shea or of his murderous attacks.
He ain’t no leader of wild, lupine packs.
His voice delivers no crazed, warlike cries.
He just ain’t known for predatory acts.
His presence draws no ravens from the skies.
He ain’t, like Epictetus, brave and wise.
If Caesar said, “You shave,” he’d shave his face
And try to shave his ass. The Stoic prize
Of peace in Mr. Shea can find no place.
Why grow the beard? His mug’s an open book:
Without the beard, he’d have the Innsmouth look.

 

—Tom Riley

Endangered

Endangered

 

Endangered spiders, lady, crowd your room—
And don’t you dare to kill a single one!
A species shouldn’t have to face its doom.
Endangered spiders, lady, crowd your room!
You don’t embrace them freely, I assume.
I know such coexistence isn’t fun.
Endangered spiders, lady, crowd your room—
And don’t you dare to kill a single one!

 

—Tom Riley

Undignified

Undignified

 

You’ve expressed an undignified view
Of our leaders, that whole lofty crew
That plans all for our good
As they’ve prayed that they could.
Toward rebellion you nod. I’m with you!

 

—Tom Riley

Thinking of Others

Thinking of Others

 

May your skies be oppressive and gray!
May the earth fall disgusted away
From your foul, hated feet!
May your wail be complete!
Otherwise, have a wonderful day….

 

—Tom Riley