Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Category: Uncategorized

Pay More?

Pay More?

Does Trump pay more for anal?” quipped the shit.
Later, in an apology, and boast,
He explained how his standards were the most
Exacting, even cooler than his wit.
Ann Coulter never really threw a fit
At Mr. Wilson’s sly strategic roast.
Her spirit never near gave up the ghost.
She didn’t dread the wisecracks of a twit.
What was the dickhead truly getting at
With a remark so undeserved and crass?
The witticism klutzily fell flat.
It didn’t even manage to harass.
You aren’t the Donald’s type, punk – and that’s that.
Go find another buyer for your ass.

–Tom Riley

Advertisements

All Worn Out

All Worn Out

Have you tended all day to your chores?
Have you won many games, many wars,
On a small daily scale?
And does life now seem stale?
Weary guys are unbearable bores!

–Tom Riley

New Friends

New Friends

Does Rick Wilson have new leftist friends?
What a thrill! He no longer contends
With the Commies and freaks.
No! They smile, pinch his cheeks—
And he takes it from them at both ends.

–Tom Riley

Proven Track Record

Proven Track Record

In the now-distant past, Rick assailed
Leftist notions that slimily hailed
From the Democrat side.
Now with freaks he’s allied.
He takes pride in the fine ads that failed.

–Tom Riley

Scarlet Parachute

The Scarlet Parachute

Peter Strzok: FBI guy no more.
But his state’s not a state to deplore.
Like the rest of his kind—
Brennan here springs to mind—
He will soon be a media whore.

–Tom Riley

Cosmos of a Consultant

Cosmos of a Consultant

When you fuck up in Trump’s world, you’re fired
And informed you unduly aspired.
Not Rick Wilson’s world, though:
In that realm, “stop” means “go.”
Fucking up is the way you get hired.

–Tom Riley

Unshaven

Unshaven

See Rick Wilson’s chin? On close inspection,
There is fuzz – a whole scruffy collection
That just up and appeared.
Do not call it a beard!
It is more of a fungal infection.

–Tom Riley

Case of the Clever Consultant

The Case of the Clever Consultant

It’s Rick Wilson, Consultant Supreme!
He’s been wrong in ways clear and extreme.
Turn your back on him. Do!
For he doesn’t need you.
His own smug expertise makes him cream.

–Tom Riley

Porky Pride

Porky Pride

A Viking beard displayed with porky pride:
Such is Shea’s only way to be a man.
Hiding his jowls, he’s quite self-satisfied.
A Viking beard displayed with porky pride
Makes fellow sissies breathily confide
That he’s admired by fan on squirming fan.
A Viking beard displayed with porky pride:
Such is Shea’s only way to be a man.

–Tom Riley

(Planned Parenthood ally and notorious glutton Mark Shea plugs beard balm.)

Correction

Correction

Cardinal Cupich issues a correction
That God of course will sheepishly accept.
For reasons that at last escape detection,
Cardinal Cupich issues a correction.
He’s striving for Bergoglio’s clear perfection.
At idiocy no one’s more adept.
Cardinal Cupich issues a correction
That God of course will sheepishly accept.

–Tom Riley

(Cardinal Cupich explains why Genesis 9:6 is wrong.)