Flammeus Gladius

Carmina et Verba pro Discipulis Meis

Category: Uncategorized

Vow of Silence

Vow of Silence

 

 

He vowed silence. His vow was self-doubted.
He vowed silence — but soon he was outed.
In his resolute station,
he endured conversation.
People spoke. “Vow of silence!” he shouted.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Cultural Difference

Cultural Difference

 

 

The little girls of Deutschland aren’t in danger.
Oh, no! Forced sex with Muslims isn’t rape!
It’s good for girls to make it with a stranger,
Lithe limbs held down, or bound with gray duct tape.
And, if the stranger has a warm complexion
And speaks a language Luther never tried,
Why, that’s an intercultural connection!
Its benefits can hardly be denied.
Rejoice that Deutschland’s understanding jurists
Now stroke these truths with evident delight
Instead of crediting outmoded purists
And punishing the foreigner! Tonight
You must put out, my dear, till bruises show.
Pope Francis and Frau Merkel tell you so.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(German judge acquits Muslim of rape on grounds of cultural difference.)

Ben Jacobs: The Next Chapter

Ben Jacobs: The Next Chapter

 

 

O bold Ben Jacobs, step right over here!
I know a guy you really ought to meet.
If you don’t venture from your current sphere,
Why, then, I say your life is incomplete.
The sympathy you’ve won, no doubt, is sweet.
E-cards, I’m sure, keep right on pouring in.
You read support in tweet on tearful tweet.
You’re wasted on good wishes now, not gin.
But let a chapter fresh and new begin!
Prepare your probing questions and your smirk!
Prepare your editing! Prepare your spin!
You have a vast ability to irk!
The apple’s falling now — and you are Newton.
Yes, step right over here. Meet Comrade Putin!

 

 

–Tom Riley

Desperate Straits for the GOP

Desperate Straits for the GOP

 

 

Gianforte won — a narrow, narrow win:
Just about 51 to 43.
Against the media he dared to sin–
So it is real bad news, his victory.
It’s bad news chiefly for the GOP.
The Dems, in contrast, celebrate their loss.
This guy’s a fucking liability!
He’s rolling wildly, gathering no moss!
Well, if I mix my metaphors, the boss
Won’t mind at all: I’m on the proper page.
I’m cooking with a special slanted sauce.
With losers and with journalists, I rage.
What are right-wingers basking in the sun for?
If they win one more time, they’re surely done for.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Gianforte victory reported as bad news for GOP.)

Critical Acumen

Critical Acumen

 

 

Of big pictures he’s fiercely aware–
Though for evidence he doesn’t care.
He’s a genius — for he
Can perceptively see
Larger pictures that simply aren’t there.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Fox News Gets It All Wrong

Fox News Gets It All Wrong

 

 

How tenderly she mouthed Bill’s herpes stick!
What an exalted dream it was to be
Involved, if only temporarily,
In such a ritual of munch and lick
With such a president! She turned no trick.
This was no act of empty venery.
No, it was love — as all her fans agree!
If any creep says otherwise, he’s sick.
Did JFK choose Marilyn Monroe
As proper movie star with whom to sleep?
Why, then, Bill’s choice of Monica as hoe
Proceeded from affection warm and deep!
Offered his organ, how could she not blow?
But Roger Ailes? He made it all sound cheap!

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(Monica Lewinsky blames late Roger Ailes for embarrassment over presidential blowjob.)

Gianforte Falls Short of Our Standards

Gianforte Falls Short of Our Standards

 

 

He threw the little asshole to the ground–
And that’s what politicians must not do.
With sacred status boundless and profound,
The journalist works hard for me and you
Unearthing what is or what may be true–
So every journalistic lad and lass
Must rest secure from consequences. Who
Would dare deny this principle, alas?
He threw the pushy pansy on his ass.
He broke some glasses, too, I understand.
He nixed the loser’s freedom to harass.
On that, our proud reporter never planned.
GOP hopefuls, folks, are clearly flakes.
Such journalists should be impaled on stakes.

 

 

–Tom Riley

 

 

(GOP candidate charged with body-slamming reporter.)

Prisoner

The Prisoner

 

 

More commentary now from John McCain–
The guy who proudly kissed Obama’s ass
At the height of a previous campaign?
More loser sneers, more vile insider sass?
The media are giving him a pass
On all the failures he’s accumulated
Because he’s glad to harry Trump. Alas!
Their appetite for that is never sated.
And John McCain is endlessly elated
To be the darling of the other side.
His interviewers, thoroughly fellated,
Know that he’ll service them, lips parted wide,
Whenever they present a microphone.
That they have captured him is now well known.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Maverick

The Maverick

 

 

McCain trolls Trump, despising his views.
In response, those who govern the news
Overflow with rich praise
that’ll go on for days.
They adore GOP guys who lose.

 

 

–Tom Riley

Dona Meliora

Dona Meliora

 

 

(for Maria Martin)

 

 

“¿Habrá sentido que no estaba solo
y que el arcano, el increíble Apolo
le había revelado un arquetipo?”

 

 

–Borges

 

 

I should, of course, have sent you better wine
From the land of your childhood, which you know
To rule in Cabernet if not Merlot.
If Bacchus is a god, then it’s divine
Here where I once compelled you to decline
Latin nouns. Bacchus is a god, although
I’ve often had too much to tell him so.
I’ll let him make the Maenads dance in line.
I should, perhaps, have sent you once again
A dagger with a handle emerald green.
Minerva would have loved your chances then.
Mars would have hailed you where the bold convene.
Instead you get this sonnet. Tell me when
The disappointment verges on obscene.

 

 

Happy Birthday!

 

TR

 

23 May 2017